theVoiceofReason.co.uk theVoiceofReason.com
(u/d'td) 2/9/2010
Your newspaper, media spoof and jokes and videos - Never knowingly under-spoofed

Satire Archives:2010 2009 2008 2007 2006 2005 2004 2003

Public Domain Videos
pdcomedy.com is our dedicated video site. Featuring clips from Laurel and Hardy, Lucille Ball, Plan 9 From Outer Space. Hundreds of videos, all for free download.
 
World's Funniest Jokes
Latest Jokes:

pdtunes.com - free legal music downloads
pdtunes.com has been set up to supply high quality mp3s of British music tracks falling into the public domain... The first 10 tracks are up now, celebrating the pre rock and roll era of 1954-7

Useful links

We aim to offend everyone equally

Also...

If you like this, why not try our worldwide site...

e-mail: editor

Privacy Policy

all content (c) theVoiceofReason.com

We are not responsible for the content on links to external sites

 

 

Vague Hague

FREE WILLIAM HAGUE BASEBALL CAP INSIDE TODAY

The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)

'That's The Last Time I Order The Breakfast Eye Opener At That Hotel', Says Hague

William Hague ordered the Breakfast Eye Opener at the hotel at which he shared a room with his then driver, and now Special Adviser, Christopher Myer, we can now reveal.

The Eye Opener consists of two extra large sausages, three large fried eggs, fried bread, mushrooms and baked beans, and as much coffee you can drink before you need to go to the toilet.

-x-x-

Christopher Myer has since resigned as Hague's Special Advisor.

-x-x-

In response to the allegations that William Hague appointed an unqualified male lover as his Special Advisor, the foreign secretary responded by saying he was trying to have a family with his wife.

-x-x-

David Cameron says he has 100% confidence in William Hague, down from 110% earlier in the year. [Link]

BB BO

FREE SIMON COWELL TUCK IN T-SHIRT FOR EVERY READER INSIDE TODAY

The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)

Simon Cowell To Be Revealed As Big Brother In Final Reality Twist

Big Brother is still going on Channel 4?

Huh?

Yes, we were shocked too.

Apparently, Big Brother has been on the telly for the last 10 weeks or so.

Some woman won it.

But then she went back in the house again for Ultimate Big Brother.

Sorted.

But then she walked out again.

What?

But we can reveal today that at the end of Ultimate Big Brother the biggest twist is going to be that Big Brother was Simon Cowell all along.

Whodathunk it?

Did you know he's got a new telly show called X Factor? Fancy that. [Link]

Becks Ending?

FREE LET'S PICK ON BECKHAM'S SISTER CAMPAIGN STARTS TODAY

The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)

David Beckham Is 'Teepoldo', Says Capello

England manager Fabio Capello has apparently claimed that David Beckham is "teepoldo" in an interview to be screened on Sky News later today.

This brings to two the number of apparent attacks on England's greatest living footballing son in as many weeks.

Capello's assistant translator ran away screaming a bit like a little girl when we asked him what he meant.

This follows almost three years as England coach, which we widely applauded at the time even though Fabio Capello allegedly didn't speak any English at all back then.

The FA have since said the next coach of the England team will be English and not Australian like wot we have been campaigning for.

Come On England! [Link]

Robbie Latest

FREE WEDDING PICTURES INSIDE TODAY

The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)

Robbie Williams Wears Tuxedo In His House

Robbie Williams dressed up in a Tux to make breakfast this morning, fuelling speculation that he married his long term girlfriend on his way to the kitchen.

Robbie Williams - By jeaneeem Jeanie Mackinder
"I do" Robbie Williams

The pop singer made a ham omelet and coffee for some bird he met in the living room wearing a white dress.

A guy with a dog collar was a waiter.

Robbie Williams, 36, then got someone else to do the washing up.

Bizarre. [Link]

Weather Disaster

FREE HOW TO BE A POLICE OFFICER, YOUR GUIDE HOW YOU AND YOUR MATES CAN CONTROL YOUR LOCAL NEIGHBOURHOOD, INSIDE TODAY

The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)

Yuck Wot A Squelcher!

They promised us a barbeque summer but all we got was rain and cloud where the sun was supposed to be.

So we asked our Page Three lovelies to strip down to their galoshes and rain hats to cheer the lads up.

So they did their own version of Singin' In The Rain, the Morcambe and Wise classic, but with lots more pouting and pointing to their lovely jubblies.

Pole dancing in the rain

And when they had finished there wasn't a dry eye, trouser, jacket and shirt in the house. [Link]

Breaking

FT (spoof)
Unite to endorse Ed Miliband for Labour leadership
Union's backing seen as blow to Balls

Oh Big Brother

FREE HOW TO BE LIKE DAVE CAMERON GUIDE INSIDE TODAY

The Thun (aka The Times)

Dead Viewers Double Big Brother Audience, Confirms Channel Four

Channel 4 confirmed last night that spooky goings on in the house show that dead former housemates are watching Big Brother, a well needed boost to viewing figures.

The latest and last Big Brother on Channel 4 is so boring that even died in the woods fans are turning channel.

"The apparently ghostly goings on in the Big Brother house are all a desperate attempt to get people watching what is the most boring Big Brother ever," said one analyst last night.

But Channel Four said they weren't faking it, and that the house is actually being haunted and then made an eerie woooooo sound.

According to Channel 4 figures, on Tuesday there were fifteen human viewers watching the show, and 15 supernatural other worldly beings.

The last time more dead people watched a television programme than live ones was in 1986 when Channel Four did a seance at 3am in the morning.

No British people died. [Link]

 

 

Just William

FREE ELVIS PRESLEY DVD FOR ONLY £2.99 FOR EVERY READER

Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

The Real Scandal Here Is That William Hague Is Wearing Caps Again

William Hague is at it again!!!

He's wearing baseball caps during what could be the biggest gay sex scandal of this government since the one in the first ten days.

William Hague, basball cap 2

Yes, after the last time!

William, don'cha listen to us girls here at the Moan?

No foreign secretary should wear a baseball cap, and a tight fitting shirt and sunglasses if they want to get away with a story like that, babe. [Link]

BB BS

FREE I'M AN X-FACTORHOLIC T-SHIRT FOR ONLY £7.99 DETAILS INSIDE TODAY

Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

X Factor Louis - 'I Almost Walked Again'

X Factor's Louis Walsh threatened to walk today after his car didn't turn up.

The car, sent by producers to the X Factor judge's dressing room to take him the 400 yards to the studio, was delayed after it was accidentally sent to a garage for a tune up.

This follows news that X-Factor contestants' voices had been put through some sort of computer thingie called auto tune to make them sound right.

How ironic is that?

Louis Walsh would have taken 5 minutes to walk the 400 yards to the studio, say scientists.

In other X Factor news: Pictures of Cheryl Still-Cole dribbling when she collapses from malaria is due to be shown on this weeks show.

It's a disgrace.

For more desperate X Factor tie in stories you'll just have to buy the paper. [Link]

Becks Basher

FREE ELVIS PRESLEY MOVIE WE SAID WAS 'POOP' AT THE TIME FREE INSIDE TODAY

Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

David Beckham Will Be Able To Bend It Until He's 62, Say Doctors

Doctors came to the aid of a rapidly aging David Beckham today, saying he will be able to bend it until he is 62.

Claiming that they had carried out tests on his ankles, knees and elbows, doctors said Beckham's kicking power will not start to deteriorate for at least another 20 years.

And that's assuming no new medical procedure isn't invented in the next 15 years that could come to the assistance of England's greatest living footballing son to extend his footballing life well into his 70s.

The operation for the procedure that has yet to be invented could take over 13 hours it is thought.

-x-x-x-

DID YOU KNOW? When David Beckham is eventually knighted his wife will be called Lady Posh, according to a royal expert standing outside Buckingham Palace last night. [Link]

Robbie Lobby

FREE DAB RADIO FOR ONLY £26.59 FOR EVERY READER INSIDE TODAY

Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

Well, Has He Or Hasn't He Married, Huh?

Nut case Robbie Williams perhaps got married yesterday for all he could be bothered to tell us.

The former fat boy band member had a private ceremony out of the gaze of paparazzi who had sociably gone to take picture of the event, but were turned away at the door.

Is this the way to treat readers of the Daily Moan who have bought his records, CDs and mp7's and made him one of the most successful artists in this country since that awful Welsh singer with the wobbly knees?

Eee Nads. [Link]

Summer Showdown

FREE "THAT'S IT I'M NOT TAKING IT ANY MORE" T-SHIRT, COUPON COLLECT STARTED THREE WEEKS AGO - LAST COUPON TODAY SO IF YOU HAVEN'T COLLECTED THEM CALL OUR EXCLUSIVE MOAN LINE 75p PER MIN

Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

We Said Barbeque Summer, Not Barbeques Summer, Say Weather Experts

Weather experts who had promised us a barbeque summer told us to stop moaning, we had it on the 17th July last month.

The weather expert who told us to expect a barbeque summer said:

"I never said there would be a barbeques summer, just a barbeque summer. If you didn't bother to have a barbeque on the one nice day this year it's your own stupid bloody fault."

August could go down as the moaniest in history if it keeps raining like this.

Gaaad. Bloody bleedin typical. [Link]

Big Bro Glow

FREE 'I'VE STILL NOT DECIDED ABOUT THE COALITION YET' POSTER INSIDE TODAY

Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

Ghosts Of Dead Media Careers Haunting Big Brother Set

A number of strange goings on in the Big Brother house is being blamed on dead media careers haunting the set.

Jugs flying through the air, farts but there's nobody there, air conditioning going haywire, people not having sex and yet the beds squeak like they are, are all signs that the Big Brother house is haunted.

But this isn't a ploy to get people to watch Big Brother just to see the ghosts, claimed one media consultant who appeared in series three of the show.

"The Big Brother set really is being haunted and those in the other world are determined to give the show a spooky send off."

As a tribute to the most successful Big Brother star in history, housemates will pick on a dignified accomplished Indian lady and call her snooty on Saturday. [Link]

 

Arrest Bliar

FREE LIFE SIZE PICTURE OF KATIE PRICE TOPLESS, PART 6 (OF 56) STARTS TODAY
Daily Stir (spoof of Daily Star)

Brown Was Bonkers Says Blair

Today, exclusive extracts from A Journey, By Tony Blair:

"Gordon Brown was completely nuts and drove me to drink.

He seemed pleased it was Scotch I was drinking. The bastard."

---

"I still believe there are weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, we just haven't found them yet. Iraq is a big place and I think we should continue to look for them. Has anyone thought about checking for them in Iran? Well, I think they should."

---

"For all that is said and done, had I not followed George Bush I wouldn't have become so popular in the USA and I wouldn't have made anywhere near as much money as I have done after leaving Number 10. I own 9 houses according to the newspapers. Well, I can't say fairer than that."

---

"Yes, of course, I have told Peter Mandelson, Gordon Brown and Judy Madeley to fuck off. Hasn't everybody?"

---

"Alistair Campbell is terribly misunderstood. Get him to do his Beyonce 'Put a ring on it' impression after a couple of drinks and you'll see the other side." [Link]

BB BB

FREE LIFE SIZE PICTURE OF KATIE PRICE TOPLESS, PART 4 (OF 56) STARTS TODAY
Daily Stir (spoof of Daily Star)

Billions Call X-Factor Switchboard In Auto Tune Scandal

ITV's switchboard logged billions of calls from angry viewers, some calling 10,000 times each, to register their disgust that some acts were being auto tuned.

Some angry viewers even went to extreme lengths to sing their disapproval.

Even more complained that if it had been used in the past then why were there so many bad performances in last years live shows. [Link]

Robbie Hobby

FREE LIFE SIZE PICTURE OF KATIE PRICE TOPLESS, PART 2 (OF 56) STARTS TODAY
Daily Stir (spoof of Daily Star)

Media Frenzy As Robin Williams Marries In Robbie Williams' House

News that Robin Williams had secretly married in Robbie Williams' house swept across LA today, until it was revealed that it was Robbie Williams who had married.

Helicopters stopped flying overhead.

US reporters camping outside Robbie Williams' house went home.

Live coverage on entertainment websites stopped abruptly. [Link]

Summer Bummer

FREE LIFE SIZE PICTURE OF KATIE PRICE TOPLESS, PART 1 (OF 56) STARTS TODAY
Daily Stir (spoof of Daily Star)

Everyone Gets Their Kit Off

Everyone in London stripped to the waist today to make the most of the weather conditions inside their warm comfy air conditioned offices.

Some offices even increased the temperature temporarily so that topless office workers could feel comfortable walking about with their chests bouncing about the place.

Ugly city employees were told to take the day off, or go and work in the designated no top off offices.

Everyone else cavorted about the place like nobody's business.

For all the pictures you'll just have to buy the paper... [Link]

Big Brother Dead

FREE FULL CHANNEL FIVE GUIDE INSIDE TODAY
Daily Excrement (Spoof of Daily Express)

Spooky Goings On On Big Brother Made My Knickers Fall Down, Says Madam Kinkyboots

The Daily Excrement's television critic, Madam Kinkyboots, was one of the first to comment on Big Brother's ghosts last night.

She said:

"Whilst I would rather watch the about to be brilliant Channel Five, it has to be said that when the towel flew through the air last night it was like Poltergeist all over again. I screamed and weed a little in my knickers and the strange thing was when I stood up to get a tissue, my knickers fell down."

She continued:

"Channel Five has some about to be brilliant programme's, and now that the company that owns the Excrement is about to buy it it's going to be just great."

A media consultant told the Excrement that if Richard Desmond does buy Channel 5 he will have to close down the Daily Express under the Nazi media rules in this country today.

To sign our petition to save the Daily Express, go to... [Link]

Cost Effective Society

FREE BIG SOCIETY TIME SHEET TO HAND IN TO GET NO MONEY BACK FOR EVERY READER INSIDE TODAY
Daily Excrement (Spoof of Daily Express)

"Miss Marple Can Be Paid with Cups Of Tea," Predicts Eager Prime Minister

A police force replaced by up to 10 Miss Marple's in every town, paid for with cups of tea and Hob Nobs, was the rallying call from Prime Minister David Cameron today as he revealed his Big Society aims.

"You know, when I go around the country it is simply amazing how much some of these places look like villages in the Agatha Christie or Enid Blyton novels of my youth.

And this made me think. You know, Dave I said, you don't need vast amounts of public money to do stuff in pretty picture perfect places like these. All you need is the ingenuity of the British, the Dunkirk spirit and you can do anything.

Pip pip!" [Link]