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JR
Returns
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FREE
TOM CRUISE FOR EVERY READER
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Wossy:
"I'm Tewwibly Tewwibly
Sowwy"
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Everyone's
favouwite phwone abuswer Jonafan
Woss weturns to the BBC's
small screens today, even
though television screens
are becoming incweasingly
big (for our latest mega deals
go to our Electronics shop
here).
Ross,
47, the same age as Barack
Obama who was never banned
by the BBC, said, at the taping
of his first show after the
ban ended, that he thought
his job was a 'gweat pwivaledge'
and 'an honour' and that he
had made a 'bad' mistake for
which he apologised.
Woss,
stwill 47, who is the last
person to say f*ck on BBC
Wadio Two, has thwee childwen
and lives in London. His wife
has purple hair on her head,
a first.
Stories
that Andrew Sachs was to be
a guest on the show had been
made up earlier by this newspaper.
He didn't turn up. We decided
to phone Sachs up until he
cried... Keeping it real -
the BBC don't mess with our
bad selves...
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22
Jan
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Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
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Who
Shot JR?
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FREE
PET RABBIT FOR EVERY READER
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Why
I Will Be Watching Tonight's Jonathan
Ross Show With My Fingers In My Ears
Whilst Repeating "I'm Not Listening"
with My Own Voice
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That
awful man comes back to our BBC screens
only 12 weeks after being banned.
Am I the only person in the country
who objects to my license fee paying
his £35mn a year salary?
He
doesn't even comb his hair properly,
but that another day - I have bigger
fish to fry. Or fwish as Mr Ross would
say.
This
whole terrible incident is just indicative
of a growing cancer of slopiness and
lax language in British broadcasting.
The BBC should be closed down, the
sooner the better.
I have been calling for Jonathan Ross's
sacrifice for the last three months.
And I mean actual sacrifice here not
some namby pamby liberal BBC pansy
suspension sacrifice that they seem
to think is sufficient for this crime.
No I mean sacrifice in the witch tied
to a stake and set alight alive type
of sacrifice.
What
kind of punishment is staying in his
£4
million home, talking to his friends
and generally eating and drinking
stuff?
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22
Jan
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Ah
Ha! It's JR!!!
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FREE
NIPPLE RING FOR EVERY READER
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Voice
Of The Mirror
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Jonathan
Ross is at last back on our
screens after a 12 week enforced
holiday.
And
what a line up of guests the
old smoothie has to offer!
Tom
Cruise, Lee Evans and Stephen
Fry. It makes my mouth salivate
just thinking of the hijinx
these thesps can conjure up
with our favourite floppy
haired magic lipped one.
It
is such a shame that Russell
Brand couldn't appear, or
his Mum Jo Brand either. Now
that would have been something
special. Maybe they will get
to appear at a later date?
BBC producers take note!
Ross
returns to our screens at
10:40 tonight, that is if
you are reading this on a
Friday morning, or yesterday
if you are reading this Saturday,
although the show is repeated
on Saturday it probably has
that sign language thingie
that is just sooo distracting,
especially when the signers
start laughing at the jokes.
I mean I don't mind deaf people
laughing, just why do they
want to annoy us with the
sign language is all I'm saying...
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22
Jan
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