Employees of the Royal Ballsup of Scotland must now take their toilet breaks in their own time. That's after new guidelines to make them suffer more were revealed by the government today. This follows a three month campaign by this newspaper.

"Long lavish wees are out during this downturn. A quick in, unzip, and out again will be enforced if necessary", said a government spokesman.

The Thun has campaigned for shorter wee breaks in Britain's biggest banks since it was discovered that the Northern Cockup's troubles can be traced back to one controversial wee break on the 6th September 2006.

Had the Northern Cockup executive team not all taken part in a synchronised weeing contest on that date, the bank would still be a viable concern, according to eeeekonomists.

All 'Bonarse Bankers' Must Pay Their Bonuses Back

It's now time for the Bonarse Bankers to pay back their bonuses from the past.

If their gambling led directly to losses at the now part state owned banks then we want our money back, plus interest.

(And that's the interest rates of last year not the piddling 1% or less rates today.)

If a Bonarse Banker decides not to pay back their bonuses then they should be taken to court and liquidated if necessary.

We have had enough of these cocksure arrogant idiots who have destroyed the British banking system.

This must be the end of cocksure banking for all time.

Banking Crisis: So What Have We Learned Huh?

On this anniversary of the banking crisis beginning, what have we learned so far? Well, the knee bank is connected to the ankle bank. The ankle bank is connected to the foot bank. The foot bank is connected to the toe bank.