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Yorkshire Ripper To Be Released - Thursday 19th February 2009
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Ripper Release

FREE POP UP PICTURE OF YORKSHIRE FOR EVERY READER
The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)
Yorkshire Ripper 'On Road To Release'

Peter Sutcliffe is to be moved to a medium security hotel and could be set for release by 2013.

A spokesman for the hospital said that Sutcliffe is no longer a threat to society as long as he never misses taking his medication.

Seeking to clarify this comment, our journalist asked what would happen if he did forget to take his medication.

Answer: "Well pretty much what you would expect."

Like what?

"Well, you know."

No. Could you please be more specific.

"No, I don't want to be drawn into what could happen if he forgets to take his medication, he won't forget. He's a model mental patient these days. What could possibly go wrong?"

19 Feb

 
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Ripper Released

FREE POSTCARD FROM YORKSHIRE FOR EVERY READER
Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

Someone Should Stop The Yorkshire Ripper From Being Released!

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the streets after the Yorkshire Ripper has been locked up all these years, he's about to be allowed back on it.

Sutcliffe, about to be released to a medium security hotel on his road to being released into the community, is set for day release next year which could see him take a job and walk down the street where you live.

A medical expert said: "Mr Sutcliffe has recovered. As long as he continues taking his medication he is cured."

The doctor would not be draw on what Sutcliffe would do if he forgot to take his medication. But it sounded bad. Bad as the 1970s.

19 Feb

 

 

Ripper Blooper

FREE YORKSHIRE PUDDING FOR EVERY READER INSIDE TODAY
Daily Stir (Spoof of Daily Star)

Yorkshire Ripper Could Be Walking On The Streets In A Years Time!

Women were told to look out for the Yorkshire Ripper again today as he could be out on the streets this time next year.

It is possible that the Yorkshire Ripper will not continue living in Yorkshire in case someone recognises him.

Sutcliffe, who still has the same creepy beard and hairstyle he had in the 1970s, would be able to clear a cafeteria in thirty seconds according to computer simulations.

19 Feb