AddThis
theVoiceofReason.co.uk theVoiceofReason.com
 
 
MP's Expenses, The Latest Controversy - 11th May 2009
Satirical Newspaper Spoof RSS-XML SEARCH
You've got to pick a pocket or two, as performed by the MP's...
 

MPs Expense 1

FREE MP GUIDE TO MAKING A CLAIM SPECIAL
The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)
SNOUTGATE!

Exclusive: One MP, who cannot be named for legal reasons, bought seven French Ticklers from a sex shop in his constituency on an MP expense account and it was approved under official rules after the MP claimed a French Tickler was some kind of clock ('French Ticker' is on the claim).

This and a number of other excruciatingly embarrassing claims were revealed yesterday when a list with just the embarrassing claims on it was left on a train and handed in to our offices by a concerned citizen.

The found document, which has not been authenticated, also claimed that one MP bought a breast enlargement for his wife on expenses, another bought a water bed with a special luxury vibrating feature for £3,500.

Another claim was £2.50 for a copy of The Financial Times, that scurrilous rag wot is not as good as the Wall Street Journal.

One MP even claimed 45p for a Cadbury's Twirl from the corner shop. Another MP, believed to be from the Treasury, claimed for a £17.5bn bank improvement scheme - which was thankfully refused in February 2007.

All this adds up to a sorry state for British politics. We knew this was going on in Europe, but never thought it was happening over here. Oh yea right. Silly us!

The Wall Street Journal is owned by News International, who also owns The Boobs.

11 May

 
Click here to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
We also have a world-wide site, theVoiceofReason.com

 

MPs Expenses 2

FREE PICTURE OF THE LOVELY JOANNA LUMLEY FOR EVERY READER
Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

MP Expenses Fiasco: Why Sorry Isn't Enough Any More

Sorry? Sorry? Take your cheap sorry and stick it.

If political leaders think just saying sorry makes up for members of their party allegedly making hundreds of thousands of pounds out of the expenses they are legally entitled to, and then those claiming MPs don't pay the money back when we moan about it, then...

Oooohhhhhh aaaaaaaarrg gggghhhhhhh yyyeeee eeeee sssssssssss.

Some Tory MPs have literally made hundreds of thousands of pounds using expenses to do up buildings, before selling them on. This is a disgrace!

Snouts in the trough the lot of em! We thought it was only the Euro MPs who did this. (Although, come to think of it, how did the MPs pay for all those drinks parties for journalists?)

MPs should all be sacked if they have claimed anything improper (which should be defined as improper by this newspaper not the silly rules they have been using).

It's just not good enough to say everything claimed was 'within the rules'. Who agreed the rules in the first place?

And why didn't the newspapers reveal this sooner?

That's right, newspapers, why were you so quiet about all this?

Gawd, will somebody please do something about it (not you Gordon, put your YouTube teeth away). Humpf.

11 May

 

 

MPs Expensive 3

FREE DISCOVERING HUMANISM AND ITS ACERBIC NATURE ON THE DELINEATION OF PROBIOTIC LIFE FORMS FOR EVERY READER
Daily Stir (Spoof of Daily Star)
MPs Should Get Double Their Drinkies Expense Claims, They Are All Worth It

What is all the fuss about? MPs make expenses claims, so what?

This newspaper doesn't see anything wrong with it, as long as the nice parties we get invited to at MPs' second homes are not affected.

In fact, we think it's time that MPs got more money for drinks parties for journalists, they don't get half enough money for that if you ask us.

They could then buy us more drinkies, nice nibbles, even canapés. Mmmh, lovely. Had the drinkies been a bit better then this probably wouldn't have come out in the first place...

Gotcha!

11 May