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Flu
1
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FREE
PICTURE OF 'BEFORE AND AFTER' BREAST ENLARGEMENTS
FOR EVERY READER
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Dear
Deidre Special: How To Catch
'Squeal Like A Pig' Flu, A Guide
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Today
the government is sending
out leaflets to every household
in the country (don't panic
everything is under control!!!)
But what do you do if you
really want to catch Pig Flu?
Our
experts have devised the following
How To Get Pig Flu In Three
Easy Steps:
1)
Get a lover who has Pig Flu
to sneeze in your face while
making passionate love
2)
Become a flu friend with a
sexy neighbour. Go round to
see her and offer to be her
tissue for the day
3)
Organise a Pig Flu sex party
for up to ten hot friends!
Corr!
If
these don't work then nothing
will. Wink! Oink!
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5
May
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Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
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Flu
2
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FREE
'PUTTING LIPSTICK ON WHEN YOU'VE GOT PIG FLU
STILL MAKES YOU A PIG' T-SHIRT FOR EVERY
READER
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Here's
Something To Really Moan About Special:
Banker Flu!!!
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Oh
Gawd, just when you thought it was
safe to go back into your bloody broke
bank, now there's something else to
worry about...
Bleedin
Banker Flu.
The
symptoms of Banker Flu are: tight
chest pains, the need to cough alot
when asked for a loan, and a feeling
of dizziness when you explain what
a derivative is.
The
symptoms of Pig Flu are exactly the
same in every detail.
Notice
the similarity?
Bloody
hells bells!
Was
it the bankers that caused this flu
pandemic?
Gordon
Bennet Brown!
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5
May
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Flu
3
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FREE
SHAG ME BEFORE I'M FAMOUS
T-SHIRT FOR EVERY READER
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Flu
Advice: One Sneeze 'Use A Tissue',
Two Sneezes 'Go To Bed For Three
Days'
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Swine
Flu is to be renamed Man Flu
and people who catch it are
to be allowed to have three
days off work for each double
sneeze, according to our editor.
The
new 'one sneeze good, two
sneezes bed', policy could
mean the whole country comes
to a grinding halt just when
it looked like the recession
was about to end.
"If
everyone who sneezes twice
goes to bed for three days
five trillions pounds could
be lost in only three weeks",
a guy told us.
That
could mean Chancellor Darling
would start losing his hair.
By
the way, why does Chancellor
Darling have such a good head
of grey hair? Shouldn't he
be bald by now?
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5
May
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