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MP
Botch
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FREE
SELECTION OF WITTY INSULTS TO SHOUT AT YOUR
MP IF YOU SEE THEM ON THE STREET
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Today
We Publish The Full Names And
Addresses Of All Cheating MPs
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The
News of the Hurld today prints
the names and addresses (including
all first, second and flipped
homes) of all MPs, along with
our special Organise A
Protest Outside Your MPs Home
guide.
Not
since naming and shaming pedophiles
has this newspaper been so
exasperatedly exasperated.
It's a bleedin disgrace!
MPs,
some of whom are paid a whopping
£66,000 salary every
year, can even claim £400
a month for chocolate and
crisps! On page 16 we discover
how many chocolate and crisps
an MP can buy for their £400
a month. It's a lot of chocolate
and crisps we can tell you
now! How can they eat it all?
Pigs the lot of em.
Also,
we continue with our popular
feature: breasts and chests
of the 20-something sons and
daughters of serving MPs.
At last it's a chance for
MPs to earn some honest money
by prostituting their children
to the media!!! Wallop!
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16
May
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Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
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MP
Watch
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TRAVEL
GUIDE: MP HOLIDAY HOTSPOTS ON A PARLIAMENTARY
EXPENSES BUDGET FOR UNDER £15000 A WEEK
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One
MP Claimed For A False Leg Even Though
He Has Two Legs Shocker
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The
latest shocking MP related story has
just been broken by this moanpaper.
And this is the best, most sickeningly
disgraceful one yet!
An
MP, who has two perfectly adequate
legs (if a little under-muscular for
our tastes), put in a claim for a
false leg 'in case he lost one in
an accident', we can now reveal.
The
claim for £17,890 was rejected
by the Parliamentary fees committee.
The
claim was written out as a joke down
the pub during a nights drinking,
the MP in question told us, and he
didn't intend to put it in but once
he put it in he thought he wouldn't
pull the claim in case he got lucky
and the claim was paid.
This
is just the latest in a long line
of terrible financial misdeeds from
MPs, who once were called Honourable
Members, soon to be renamed Horrible
Members by this newspaper. Piddle!
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16
May
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MP
Empathy
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WHY
I TELL ALL MPS: IT'S TIME TO GET ON YOUR BIKE,
BY NORMAN TEBBIT
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17
MPs Used False Names To Make
Expenses Claims
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17
MPs tried to make claims using
fake names such as Disney
favourites 'Donald Duck',
'Mickey Mouse' and 'Goofy
Pluto', we can now reveal.
This
is just the latest in a line
of spit-tastic revelations,
the closest thing this country
has ever come to a Watergate,
which we still haven't decided
what to call yet, how about
MPGate... no... what about
Snoutgate...
been done, hmm: OinkGate?
MPs
are now the most reviled profession,
beating bankers for the first
time in six months.
Rumours
are growing that the person
who leaked the expenses document
to The Daily Armstretchograph
is related to a banker and
is after revenge.
No
MPs have died, a shame.
An
MP told us: "We have
all been told to look concerned
and contrite, but in fact
it is far too late to do anything
about the old claims, it would
be like closing the sty door
after the pigs have bolted.
Snort. Oink."
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16
May
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