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Susan
Boyle
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FREE
HOW TO SING IN A FRUMPY DRESS FOR EVERY READER
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I'm Worried About
SuBo, Says SiCo
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Simon
Cowell, SiCo - pronounced
psycho - has rallied to the
support of Britain's Got Talent
runner up SuBo (this newspapers
witty nickname for Susan Boyle)
who was taken to a private
clinic following a 24 hour
gibbering fit following Saturdays
Britain's Got Talent final.
Fellow
judge PiMo, Piers Morgan -
pronounced peemoo - said it
was all very sad.
AhOl,
or a-hole, Amanda Holden,
said they did not exploit
SuBo on US chat show Larry
King Live last night.
Greedy
MPs who should all shut their
mouths, are calling on the
producers of the show to make
sure that all reality contestants
are psychologically strong
enough to endure the playground
style taunting of the world's
press after becoming the most
famous person on the whole
planet over night after living
alone with just her cats for
47 years.
Doctors
at The Priory said last night
that they can neither confirm
nor deny that they have anything
to say and if they were quoted
saying that they would deny
it.
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3
June
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Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
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Susan's
Toil
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FREE
INDIGESTION TABLET FOR EVERY READER
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Susan
Boyle May Never Sing Again, Says Priory
Doctor
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Susan
Boyle, who came to international prominence
after belting out a show tune while
dressed as an umpa lumpa, was said
to be doing fine last night despite
doctors at The Priory refusing to
tell us how she was doing, or even
if she was there.
So
we phoned up a Doctor Priory who told
us that it is likely that Susan Boyle
may never sing again.
He
said: "Ms Boyle may only be able
to sing properly if she wears dowdy
clothing and lets her eyebrows grow
again. I
am not surprised that it all fell
apart the moment she started to smarten
herself up."
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3
June
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Lancing
The Boyle
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FREE
EXISTENTIAL REASONING
FROM PLATO TO THE HABSBURG EMPIRE PART 47
FOR EVERY READER
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Susan
Boyle To Team Up With Amy Winehouse
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International
singing sensation Susan Boyle
is to team up with fellow
former Priory patient Amy
Winehouse after apparently
meeting the very same doctors,
we can now reveal.
A
doctor from the Priory, who
refused to talk to us and
walked away when we ran after
him, shrugged as if to say:
"I have made some calls
out to Jamaica this morning
and as soon as Amy can sober
up enough to stop gibbering
down the phone I will make
the arrangements. Although
Amy hasn't said anything coherent,
she seems excited to sing
with the fellow Brit. I think
she may even have stopped
drinking while I spoke to
her which is an improvement."
An
Amy Winehouse and Susan Boyle
duet would be a smash across
the world. "They could
be the new Little and Large,"
said one music expert.
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3
June
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