Arse Ceiling Blocking Top Porn Jobs

Porn stars from poorer families are unable to advance in the porn industry because of an arse ceiling, according to latest reports.

"I have been literally humping my arse in this industry for ten years now and all I have to show for it is a nice car and a smallish flat, if I want to go to the next level I feel like I will have to kill someone with these", said Busty Warmwammer, 59 inches.

A critic of the porn industry told us: "If only the porn industry realized that it was good sense to promote the best candidates internally and not promote based on the size of their father's penis."

A human resources manager in a leading porn company said: "We've got to get away from the wham bam thank you mam attitude of the 1970s."

'It's A Big Ask', BBC Apologizes For Blooper

A BBC commentator who thought he had been saying "it's a big ask" for almost two years on the 6 o'clock news finally had to apologise last night when it was proved he had actually been saying "it's a big arse" all the time.

The mistake was realized when a junior sound editor recorded the phrase and played it back to the mortified reporter.

"It was a mistake I meant to say 'Big Ask' for the last two years, but in fact what I had actually been saying was ' Big Arse'. Yes I feel foolish but to be honest I don't think anybody noticed anyway."

In a survey carried out for this moan paper most viewers say they assumed the reporter meant to say big arse when he said big ask in the first place.

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