AddThis
theVoiceofReason.co.uk theVoiceofReason.com
 
 
M15 Threat Assessment Downgraded - 20th July 2009
Satirical Newspaper Spoof RSS-XML SEARCH

Terror Update

FREE SAFETY HELMET FOR EVERY READER
The Thun (spoof of The Times aka The Thunderer)

M15 Reduce Security Threat By 0.23%

British security chiefs reduced the threat of international terrorism at home today following England's historic victory against Australia in the Ashes.

A spokesman said the two are not directly linked but "this stuff is really complicated and it is difficult to say unequivocally that the two are not completely disconnected."

The security level of 93.45 was set soon after the 7/7 2005 bombings, so in fact is now reduced back to the level it was at when the bombings actually happened.

We asked the M15 if actually this reduction back to the level at which the bombings happen and in view of the fact that no bombings had happened when the level had been increased, if in fact the country was actually at a higher level of risk even through the headline security threat assessment level had been reduced.

"It's highly possible, we have no way of knowing" said a spokesman.

 
Click here to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
We also have a world-wide site, theVoiceofReason.com

 

Terror Downdate

FREE M15 HAT FOR EVERY READER INSIDE TODAY
Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

M15 Reduces Security Threat From 'Highly Likely' To 'Strongly Possible'

M15 announced that Britain is safer today than it was yesterday at tea time.

An expert said: "The threat level has been reduced but that is not to say that it is safe, it's just a little less completely dangerous than it was yesterday.

Families were warned to continue to take precautions when going out and only use umbrellas when it is raining.

M15: "Security is not an accurate science, we are attempting to give the public a reasoned threat assessment and saying that an attack is 'strongly possible' and that that is better than an attack being 'highly likely' is obviously an important thing to do. Just go about your business as if we weren't here."

 

 

Terror Firma

FREE TOP TEN TITS SURVEY STARTS TODAY, CUMBRIA REGION INSIDE TODAY
Daily Stir (Spoof of Daily Star)
M15 Reduce Security Threat From Flashing Red To Just Red

Children played in the streets again this morning, women walked down to the shops with a spring in their step, men with beards smiled to each others, following M15's reduction of the security threat from flashing red to red today.

"This is a remarkable achievement and is a sign that the security services are doing a great job," said Tandy Myckovich an illegal immigrant.

A red threat assessment means that the chances of being attacked are high, but a flashing red one means that the threat is high and urgent, said a spokesman.

It's much better to have a red threat assessment than a flashing red one.

We are still 12,000 colours away from completely safe, according to Jim.