It Would Be Insane To Regulate The Hooli-Banks Any More, Says Bank Experts

Banks should be left alone to regulate themselves, that's according to chants from a feared Eastend Football bank firm, the FAFSA, earlier last night.

This came just minutes after a think tank reported that all bank workers are useless numbskulls, most employees should be given ASBOs and even that nice posh David Cameron chappie thinks they are all twats.

The FAFSA recommended that bank regulation should be scaled back to just ten orange jacketed stewards per bank, all of which will stand with their backs to the auditors to ensure no fowl play during office hours. The police will be called in the event of scuffles.

"This plan is bereft of sense it is a senseless solution. Tea or coffee love? one lump or two?" claimed a tea lady who works in the executive offices in HSBC.

Nobody resigned, all of them thugish.

What Is The Difference Between The Millwall And West Ham Hooligans, And The Banks Who Lost Billions?

Bankers berated each other with their shirts off, some shouting "Come and get a lump of me mate," "Stick 'em up you poofta" and "You lard bucket you couldn't punch your way out of a wet paper bag my son," are just three of the things banker-hooligans might say to each other in a melee or confrontation, that's according to our editor's imagination earlier today.

This following a survey that said West Ham supporters were more likely to trust a Millwall supporter with their money than Natwest Bank.

Sitting on a box and swearing, a young woman said: "It's about time the bleedin banks helped Kerry Katona, she needs some help where are the banks now? Save Our Kerry."

Bradford And Bungled Shareholders To Face Beating By Football Hooligans