BBC Old Fool To Be Replaced By Ginger Nut

Sir Terry Wogan, OAP, announced his retirement to his bewildered listener today. The silver tongued smoothie, 71, also let slip that Chris Evans is to be his replacement.

That's the ginger nut Chris Evans and not the hollywood hunk of the same name who was in The Fantastic Four.

We opened our switchboard for our readers to phone in their comments. Here is a selection of the calls we received:

"Evans above, whatever next?"

"Christopher Evans Christ I never listen to Radio 2, and I doubt I ever will now."

"Great, I sincerely missed three hours of what Chris Evans did in the pub last night every weekday morning. I do hope the BBC sacks him again."

"Damn Manuel, it's because of him Jonathan Ross didn't get it."

"Rupert Murdoch is right to call for an end to the BBC. It is decisions like this that make you wonder what planet they are on."

Once Fired Chris Evans To Get Second Chance On Radio 2, Why Oh Why Oh Why?

The bloody BBC once again fell over themselves to waste taxpayers license fee money today by paying an exorbitant amount to a ginger.

This newspaper isn't anti ginger per se, Anne Robinson is always welcome, and were Kerry Katona to go all ging' we would be happy to feature a story or two about her, too.

No, it's just this Chris Evans chappie we have a problem with.

This is because he once drank the whole entertainments section of the Daily Moan under the table and then he never stopped telling his listeners about it.

He made us feel like little girls.

Then his friend, Jimmy Ninebellies, joined in and he made us cry.

Oh, Sir Terry, please stay.

Wogan Retires At 71