Expense Scandal MP In Screaming Fit At Party Leader

Arbuthnot Angus Smith, MP for the Lazitown and Bottomsville constituency, had to be restrained last night after his decibel reading matched that of Ian Paisley's record set in 1978.

"I thought a jet was flying overhead, but in fact it was an MP shouting at the top of his voice about the expenses he will have to repay," said a BBC outsider.

Smith, 63 and 4 months, had the record number of redactions of any MP in expenses documents released earlier this year. This was because he was such a money grabbing whore of an MP that he even claimed money in the margins of the claim form.

Leader of the Conservative Party, David Camer-doom, said: "Anyone who refuses to pay up will see the inside of my slipper across their kisser before supper, by Gad."

MPs Told: Pay Expenses Back Or Public To Be Allowed To Throw Tomatoes And Eggs At You

Parliamentary authorities are to put emergency measures through to legally allow the public to throw eggs and rotten tomatoes at MPs who refuse to pay back their expenses claims, according to a man.

Public insubordination of this type is allowed under emergency powers passed in a secret part of the Defence Act 1941, originally designed to allow vegetable and hen based harassment of German Nazis posing as MPs.

This is just bloody typical isn't it!? Hm?

They say we can now throw tomatoes and eggs just when they have gone up in price!

Tomatoes and eggs have never been more expensive. Had they told us we could throw bleedin tomatoes and blummin eggs at the start of this bleedin scandal we could have saved a fortune.

Gawd blimey hell.