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X FACTOR JEDWARD SPECIAL - 4th November 2009

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Return Of The Jedwardi

FREE 'JEDWARD DART BOARD' FOR EVERY READER
The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)

YouTube Release 'Jedward Patch'

Youtube has added a patch to their popular video player to allow viewers to hear Jedward sing in key for the first time.

The patch converts out of key noises into sounds people like to hear.

Some readers claim that Jedward sound like two Tom Jones' singing together when heard through the patch.

But not all of our readers are happy:

"I want to hear Jedward sing their own way, not some electronically enhanced way. Look what happened to Gary Numan."

"Let Jedward alone, they can sing as well as they can. I hope they win, they bring a smile to my and my dog's face. Woof."

"I just can't wait to see Simon Cowell's face when Jedward win."

"Ha ha haaaaa ha haaa ha ha ha. They can't sing. They can't dance and they're gonna win. Go get em Jedward!"

 
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Jedwardi Knights

FREE 'HOW TO SING OUT OF KEY', BY JEDWARD INSIDE TODAY

Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)

Jedward Support Grows

They can't bloody sing. They can't bloody dance. They look like they've got bleedin bird's nests on their heads.

They are by all standards, useless.

That's why we at the Daily Moan are giving Jedward our complete support.

There's nobody on X Factor 2009 that quite piques our moaning muscles as much as Jedward.

If they were kicked off the show we wouldn't have anything to moan about.

We could quite simply moan about them on every page every day for the rest of the year.

How many other celebrities, other than Katie Price and Kerry Katona, could you say that about?

They are absolute gems of moananity.

They are quite simply the most awful contestants in the history of the bloody competition.

Gawdon Brown, they are crap.

Awful, hopeless. They will go far.

 

 

Backward Jedward

FREE 'MOTHERS FOR JEDWARD' CAMPAIGN POSTER INSIDE TODAY
Daily Excrement (Spoof of Daily Express)

"I Will Leave The Country If Jedward Wins" Says Simon Cowell

Simon Cowell is set to go to America if Jedward wins, according to sources close to the showbiz chief.

He is thought to have said that it would be an absolute disaster if they won.

Cowell goes to America every week, and if Jedward wins he will continue going.

"I'm not staying in this country if Jedward wins, I'll be off to America on my regular flight," he told reporters.

Some people have compared Jedward to Robson and Gerome, one of Cowell's first million selling albums.

Meanwhile, Gordon Ramsay has been asked to come over to the UK to give Jedward a shouting at.

Fruit-i-likie
Jedward
Pineapple

Did You Know: Edward and John are to swap sides in this Saturday's live show in an attempt to get their tuning right.