X Factor Vs Rage Against Machine Makes For A Very Sony Xmas

It is a marketing dream made in marketing school heaven. A pop music chart wars where the two protagonists are both from the same company. Ker-ching! The sheer genius of Sony is that it is behind both Joe McElderry's The Climb single, under the SyCo brand, and the Rage Against The Machine tune which is on Sony's Epic label. And so it was that 500,000 souls purchased the Rage single leaving second place to 450,000 more shrieky dreamer souls who paid for little Joe's effort. This paper thinks that there is something wrong if Cliff Richard isn't number one at Christmas time.

Sony Only Winner In X Factor Vs Rage Against The Machine Scam

Oh bloody hell. Sony, the bastards. The only decent race to the top of the pop charts this year is a race between two companies on the Sony payroll. Bastards. Sony own the record companies behind both the X Factor Joe McElderry 'The Climb' single, and the Rage Against The Machine single that the anarchists, or at least the fuck Simon Cowell people, are buying to top the X Factor hit in the charts... Shat lively. Hells fire damn hell. Why are the anarchists so hairy and fat looking? Joe looks much nicer on our front page. If it wasn't Christmas on Friday we would be up in arms. As it is, another sherry? Aaaah that's better.

Joe McElderry Urged To Say Fuck On BBC National Radio

X Factor winner Joe McElderry has been told it was his squeaky clean image that allowed f-word wielding tramps Rage Against The Machine to steal the christmas number 1.

Rage sang the fuck word four times on Thursday, a record, when moronic producers on Five Live allowed the words to go out repeatedly .

So, to help our Joe, we have rewritten The Climb, Joe's single, a performance of which on radio five will undoubtedly make him number one after Christmas.

THE FUCKING CLIMB

I can almost fucking see it
That fucking dream I am dreaming
But there's a fucking voice inside my head saying
"You'll never fucking reach it"

Every fucking step I'm taking
Every fucking move I make feels
Lost with no fucking direction
My faith is fucking shaking

But I gotta keep fucking trying
Gotta keep my fucking head held high

There's always gonna be a fucking mountain
I'm always gonna wanna fuck it more
Always gonna be a fucking battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to fucking lose

Ain't about how fast I fucking get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other fucking side
It's the fucking climb

The struggles I'm fucking facing
The chances I'm fucking taking
Sometimes might knock me fucking down
But no, I'm not fucking breaking

I may not fucking know it
But these are the fucking moments that
I'm gonna remember most, fuck yeah
Just gotta keep fucking going

And I, I got to be fucking strong
Just keep fucking pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be a fucking mountain
I'm always gonna wanna fuck it move
Always gonna be a fucking battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to fucking lose

Ain't about how fast I fucking get there
Ain't about what's fucking on the other side
It's the fucking climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be a fucking mountain
I'm always gonna wanna fuck it move
Always gonna be a fucking battle
Somebody's gonna have to fucking lose

Ain't about how fast I fucking get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other fucking side
It's the fucking climb, fuck yeah!

Keep on moving, fuckers, keep fucking climbing
Keep the fucking faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the fucking climb
Keep the fucking faith, keep your faith, fuck yea

© HOPELESS ROSE MUSIC; VISTAVILLE MUSIC; additional cussing by theVoiceofReason .co.uk