Conservatives say 54% of teen girls pregnant, should have been 5.4% - 15th February 2010

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Conservative Party Error Puts Teen Pregnancy As High As 540% In Some Parts Of Country, Following Second Decimal Point Gaff In Same Day Shocker

Rushing to correct an earlier error in which the Conservative Party released figures claiming that 54 out of 1000 pregnancies meant 54% of the girls in some of the poorest areas in the country were with feral child, the person who did the maths made the same mistake again, it can now be revealed.

The problem occurred when the Tory in charge of the calculator moved the decimal point to the right again, when they should have moved it to the left.

A Conservative Party spokesman said: "According to these latest figures, down some of the poorest roads in the country every teen girl has over 5 children by the time she is 18. If this is true, this is a scandal."

54 out of 1000 is 5.4%.

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Cameron Team To Concentrate On Percentages Next

Claims that teen pregnancies were as high as 54% in the poorest parts of the country were put down to a right shifted decimal point error, it was revealed last night.

The right leaning error, which was only discovered after the document with the figures in had been published and posters pasted onto sidings, is the most embarrassing from David Cameron's inexperienced team yet.

A Conservative spokesman is expected to cry about it in an interview later in the week.

A spokesman for the Conservative Party told this newspaper:

"It was a simple decimal point in the wrong place error. Lordy, could have happen to anybody."

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Cameron Battling With Posh But Dim Team

Claims that 54 out of 1000 is 54% may be just the tip of the iceberg of sheer incompetence, a leading Tory worrier claimed last night.

If the Conservative Party wins the next election, more complicated sums will have to be done, possibly including multiplication, division and lots and lots of subtraction.

A defender of the Conservative mathematics department explained to this newspaper:

"Shifting the decimal point in the wrong direction can make a large difference in any number.

Say the National Debt is £1000 billion, shifting it one place to the right makes it £10,000 billion, or ten trillion pounds, which is more money than there is in the whole world."

It is feared that VAT, currently at 17.5%, could be written down as 175% in Tory chancellor George Osborne's papers somewhere.

A Tory supporter told this newspaper: "This is an indictment of how the standards in the country's exclusive fee paying schools have deteriorated over the last 15 years under this incompetent Labour government."