Paul The Psychic Octopus Dies After Eating What They Put In The England Box

Tributes were being paid to Paul The Psychic Octopus after he ate the mussel that was put in the England box that he avoided by picking the German box, thus predicting their victory against the motherland in South Africa, earlier last week.

Paul eventually fell all limp at the bottom of his tank, after minutes of wreathing about in agony and choking, whilst media cameras watched on thinking he was predicting something.

In fact Paul the Psychic Octopus was just wreathing about in agony all the while.

Before his untimely death today he selected Spain to win the World Cup final on Sunday.

Ways Those Bastard Germans Could Be Faking The Paul The Psychic Octopus Thingie

The psychic community were up in arms today, after an octopus briefly became the most famous psychic on the planet, according to sorcerers.

British born Paul, 2, an octopus, is alleged to be able to predict the results of football matches by eating mussels in boxes with flags on even though he is under water.

A spokesman for the World Psychic's Federation told the Moan:

"How ridiculous. Psychics get their messages from the other worlds through the air, you just can't do that under water. Even David Copperfield can't do that, it's impossible. He must be doing it some other way."

In other news:

Ways Paul The Psychic Octopus could be a fake:

1) The mussels in the box he chooses are bought from a deli he likes, the ones he doesn't are mussels from a deli he doesn't.

2) He likes brighter coloured flags, or thicker horizontal stripes.

3) The octopus is just a fluky lucky bastard - it wrongly predicted Germany would beat Spain in the European Cup Final in 2008.

Spain Set To Win World Cup 37-24 Says Psychic Squirrel

Paul the Psychic Squirrel, who predicts things by burying his nuts in an area of a field, is predicting Spain will be the eventual winner in the World Cup on Sunday.

Yesterday morning in the spotlight of the world's media, Paul, a 2 year old squirrel from Hampshire, buried 37 nuts in the Spain part of the field, and only 24 nuts in the Netherlands area, signifying a clear Spain victory in the World Cup final on Sunday.

Paul The Psychic Squirrel first came to the attention of the world's media by correctly predicting Frank Lampard's disallowed goal in the German - England match, and the ending to Lost.