Simon Cowell To Be Revealed As Big Brother In Final Reality Twist

Big Brother is still going on Channel 4?

Huh?

Yes, we were shocked too.

Apparently, Big Brother has been on the telly for the last 10 weeks or so.

Some woman won it.

But then she went back in the house again for Ultimate Big Brother.

Sorted.

But then she walked out again.

What?

But we can reveal today that at the end of Ultimate Big Brother the biggest twist is going to be that Big Brother was Simon Cowell all along.

Whodathunk it?

Did you know he's got a new telly show called X Factor? Fancy that.

X Factor Louis - 'I Almost Walked Again'

X Factor's Louis Walsh threatened to walk today after his car didn't turn up.

The car, sent by producers to the X Factor judge's dressing room to take him the 400 yards to the studio, was delayed after it was accidentally sent to a garage for a tune up.

This follows news that X-Factor contestants' voices had been put through some sort of computer thingie called auto tune to make them sound right.

How ironic is that?

Louis Walsh would have taken 5 minutes to walk the 400 yards to the studio, say scientists.

In other X Factor news: Pictures of Cheryl Still-Cole dribbling when she collapses from malaria is due to be shown on this weeks show.

It's a disgrace.

For more desperate X Factor tie in stories you'll just have to buy the paper.

Billions Call X-Factor Switchboard In Auto Tune Scandal

ITV's switchboard logged billions of calls from angry viewers, some calling 10,000 times each, to register their disgust that some acts were being auto tuned.

Some angry viewers even went to extreme lengths to sing their disapproval.

Even more complained that if it had been used in the past then why were there so many bad performances in last years live shows.