Wagner Tipped To Win X Factor

Bookies have slashed the odds of Wagner being this year's X Factor winner.

Ireland's second biggest betting company, Paddy Punter, now Ireland's third biggest company, slashed his odds of winning to Fookin Certain, up from To Be Sure only last week. If Wagner were to be kicked out later today it could be the savior of the entire Irish economy.

Wagner, who once wrestled lions with his own hands, feet and teeth, is 54.

Wikileaks latest: The US government urged Brazilian authorities to bomb X Factor Wagner's home village in 1985 in an attempt to stop him from singing again in public, it is claimed.

X Factor Wagner Can Sing And Dance Better Than Third Reich Wagner, Says Old German

X Factor Wagner is a much better singer and dancer than the composer of Ride of the Valkyries, a music professor at an online university in a small village in Estonia said last night.

Wagner

Wagner, who once sang at Adolph Hitler's 51st birthday party dressed as a reindeer, was told by an aid to Hitler: "Sing like that again and you will be shot, Rudolph."

X Factor Katie's Gran Feeds Her Red Snapper Every Day

Katie Waissel, star of SHITV's X Factor, has a Gran who owns a Red Snapper that she feeds every day.

Katie Waissel's Gran's Red Snapper

The fish keeping Gran of the controversial X Factor star, Edith, is 81 years old but still remembers to feed her fish a single pinch of fish food at 10am every morning.

Gran Edith also works part time for a local aquarium and feeds their fish at weekends, sometimes sprinkling the food straight from the canister until the grateful fish gobble it all up.

"Katie's Gran has horrible fishy food smelling fingers and we never speak," said a fish.