Olivia Newton John To Fly To Athens In Last Ditch Grease Rescue Attempt

International singing sensation, and star of Greece The Musical, Olivia Newton John, is to be on hand if needed in Athens during what could be a difficult period following the Grease elections, the results of which are expected later today.

Early exit polls suggest another election in a month's time, in what could be a performance to rival the longevity of Greece the Musical on Broadway, according to some musicals expert we chatted to anonymously online.

"I have been on the phone to John Travolta who is also on his way," Ms John told reporters.

Apology: We would like to apologize for our story on German chancellor AnGela Merkel whom we mistakenly spelled Angela, which means 'fish fingers' in German, last week.

"I Will Never Regret My Half Finished IDS Tattoos"

Voted the worst politically inspired tattoos in history by The Spectator Magazine Political Tattoo Supplement, Sheila Trauman defended her 'worst tattoo ever' of Iain Duncan Smith today.

The tattoo artist committed suicide five days before completing the double IDS tattoos.

No other tattoo artist is prepared to finish it, sources say.

"Anybody who finishes it off could become a tattoo industry pariah," said Hugh Duncan-Scott of Tattoos For Kids in Brighton.

Sheila told the Daily Moan: "IDS is the quiet man who should have been PM. I will never regret putting his face on the back of my legs."

Elsewhere in today's paper:

How to exit from your Greek Toy Boy if he won't pay his way

How to defend yourself from a broke Greek

Cheap holidays in broke Greece, how to negotiate a reduction on your Greek holiday