The government knew twenty years ago that G4S couldn't deliver on their Olympics security contract from reading this report from the Indigestion newspaper, a security expert specializing on the Olympics told this newspaper last night.
Speaking from his headquarters in a cave in the Yemen, Usif Siad-Thta said his plans for the Olympics were now 'further advanced than expected thanks to the brothers at G4S'.
He was unwilling to say what he meant by that, as he scratched the side of his nose with the tip of the hook on his right hand.
G4S came to fame in the 1990s as Group 4 Security, after they lost various prisoners they were transporting to prison, but would become one of the biggest security companies in the world due to their superior invoice raising department.
Speaking on the Andrew Marr Show, Culture, Booze and Olympics Minister Jeremy Funt said he was 'amazed G4S hadn't messed it up more than they had already'.
Apology: We would like to apologize for our incomplete explanation of the term 'choc ice' in a report this morning. Many readers have written to us to complain that our explanation didn't include modern choc ices that may have a brown chocolate ice cream filling. We also acknowledge that it gets even more complicated if the choc ice in question has white chocolate on the outside and brown chocolate ice cream inside. We are happy to acknowledge that some choc ices today have nuts in them, too. We would also like to apologize specifically to anyone with the surname Choccy who would have been particularly offended by paragraphs 7, 9 and 23.