Gangnam Style Musical, TV Ideas, Letters 25th November 2012

Satirical Newspaper Spoof RSS-XML SEARCH

EXCLUSIVE: INSIDE TODAY CHRISTMAS TELEVISION GUIDE WITH OVER 10% OF THE PROGRAMMES IN

Gangnam Style Video To Be Made Into Full Broadway Musical

Producers in America have said that plans to stretch the Gangnam Style video into a two hour Broadway Musical extravaganza are well advanced.

This coming just hours following news that Psy's Gangnam Style video has beaten Charlie Bit My Finger for the first time, making it the most clicked on video in Youtube history.

The musical is set to run for 2 hours and is expected to include around 20 variations of the Gangnam Style dance that looks like a man is riding a pony that isn't there.

Variations are thought to include: man riding a large dog as if it isn't there, man dancing like he is riding a tiger as if it isn't there and man riding dwarf horse as if it isn't there.

Apology: In an earlier article "Nobody Shot JR" we made a number of factual errors about the 1980's series of Dallas, particularly: 1) Sue Ellen was JR's wife and not a song by Bobby Darin, 2) Bobby Ewing was played by Patrick Duffy who starred in the short lived tv series The Man From Atlantis and not in itv's "classic" situation comedy On The Buses and 3) The Guardian newspaper never mistakenly misspelled South Fork Ranch South F**k Ranch.

MY FAVOURITE INGREDIENT IN CHRISTMAS PUDDINGS - CELEBRITY CHEFS TALK

Total Number Of Reworking's Of Scrooge Story To Top 100 On Christmas Telly This Year

Television experts have reported a surge in the number of Christmas specials based on the Scrooge story this year, beating It's A Wonderful Life for the first time.

Christmas viewers are widely believed to be the most gullible, with tat often passed off with the term special and Christmas in the title to disguise what is essentially a repeat.

Most viewers are believed to be so drunk between the hours of 8-11pm on Christmas Day that broadcasters can often just change scripts to out of copyright classics, such as A Christmas Carol, and save a fortune on paying scriptwriters, many of whom are desperate for money this time of the year.

A spokesman for the Television Scriptwriters Union was too drunk to answer our questions when we called this morning.

In other news: Perry Como's Christmas in Berlin Special has been cancelled again this year as the popular crooner died in 2001.

Also in today's paper:

How I Almost Choked To Death On A Sixpence Put In My Christmas Pud in 1965, But Am Now Determined To Put My Family Through The Ordeal Again This Year

How To Eat A Full Christmas Meal And Still Look As Fit As Daniel Craig Walking Out Of The Ocean In Casino Royale In Only 5 Years Working Out Down The Gym Three Times A Week

EXCLUSIVE: SELECTION OF POPULAR TONGUE TWISTERS FOR THE UNDER TENS THAT MAKE THEM SAY F*C*, AND S*I*

Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir,

I love nothing better than to put a thick slice of cheddar cheese on top of a thick slice of Christmas cake on top of my crumpets for a decidedly delish English Christmas Day crumpet treat. Does anyone else have any other crumpet toppings they would like to share?

Yours, Prent Gangerheid

Dear Sir,

Your story about fat celebrities on the beach made me laugh until a little bit of wee came out of my nose. How on earth did your photographers get to take those pictures and not be arrested for perving? I do hope Leveson shafts you buggers where it hurts the most.

Yours, Gary Schmile

Dear Sir,

I would like to complain about your bad sex in letters letter of the 21st inst. It is not possible to print comments like that. You should know that printing anything about a man's private parts over 90 degrees above the perpendicular is porn and is banned and that probably includes 89 degrees too because most modern protractors are inaccurate when measuring a moving target.

Yours, Shirley Bendiparts