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Unseasonable Snow, Fat Children, Letters 24th March 2013

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Snow More

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The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)

Enough! Stop Sending Us Your Bleedin' Pictures Of This Blummin' Snow

Last Tuesday we thought it would be a brilliant idea to celebrate the end of winter by asking our fantastic readers to send in pictures of what was a freak snow storm at the end of March.

BOOM! GET SOME OF THIS
sNOW PICTURE 1

Well, it's been 5 days now and we've got enough pictures.

DIDN'T IT LOOK BEAUTIFUL (LAST TUESDAY)?
sNOW PICTURE 1

Brrrr! It's bloody freezing!

21st March 2013: START OF SPRING
Snow - image 3

Now here's Daisy, 35, from Romford, with her snow tits of the day...

Correction: Daisy Trouton, 35, from Romford, is a highly regarded Professor of Snow Logistics at the University Of Rimming, Netherlands, and she is here with her snow tips of the day and not snow tits of the day as we implied in an earlier article.

Worried Mother

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Daily Moan (The Daily Mail)

"People Criticise Me For Renaming My 10 Year Old Son 'Kitkat Chunky', But I Did It For His Own Good"

A number of people have criticised me for allowing my 10 year old son to eat until he looks like a whale.

I always thought that sort of thing was a problem of really stupid mothers.

I am clever, with a column in the Daily Moan, and still my young son looks like a statue of Buddah.

We, that's me, and my slim children, 9, 14 and 16, have been calling him 'Porky' in the house for the last 6 months and still the big-little shit keeps eating pies, making me look like a benefits scrounger.

If I stop him eating biscuits he just goes to his friends and eats theirs.

So, today I've decided to put his picture in the paper so that everyone can take the mickey out of the little fatso... I just don't know what else a loving mother can do...

Also in today's paper:

Eating Chocolate Can Help You Do Maths

Eating Chocolate Can Help Prevent Your Car From Being Stolen

Eating Chocolate Can Cure Snoring

 

Letters Cyprus

EXCLUSIVE: GET YOUR OWN MARGARET THATCHER WIG, AS WORN BY DAVID CAMERON, COUPON COLLECT STARTS THIRTY YEARS AGO

The TreeHuggian (spoof of The Guardian)

Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir,

I wonder if you have heard of any hilarious stories of BBC employees mistakenly turning up at Television Centre after it closed down and thinking they were in some sort of Zombie Apocalypse in their drug addled state?

Yours, Harry Moneykins

Dear Sir,

Oh, Eddie Mair, how well you conducted your interview with tossel haired London Mayor Boris Johnson on the How Is Andrew Marr Doing Nobody Seems To Mention Him Any More Show, BBC1, Sunday 9am. Were you trying to make Boris walk out? Robin Day once managed to get John Nott to walk out by asking him the question: "Are you a here-today gone-tomorrow politician?" Why not ask Boris if he is a hair-today gone-tomorrow politician? Not only might he walk out, but he has tossled hair so it would be funny too!

Yours, Angela Bunnywats

Dear Sir,

Re Passover: Why Is This Night Different, BBC 1 Sunday 12:20pm. Who's idea was it to get self proclaimed angry writer Giles Coren in the kitchen? It was only two minutes into the interview that he playfully threatened to stab the woman cooking the food for his Passover Seder party ('I'm the one holding the knife' he tells the poor woman he was arguing with).

Yours, Tony Boney