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North Korea WW3 Special In Colour, Letters 7th April 2013

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North Korea 1

FREE DVD: INSIDE TODAY - KOREA WAR 1 SPECIAL - M*A*S*H EPISODE 2, SEASON 5

The Pyoowwbang Times (Spoof of Pyongyang Times) - North Korea's Daily

Glorious News: 'Big Kim Bomb' Successfully Pointed In Exciting New Direction

Brilliant news today comes from the High Command. North Korean scientists have successfully moved our biggest banging bomb yet into position!

Over 50 trucks, some as young as 30 years old, helped move the Mighty Bomb into position so that it can point directly at America.

America has had this coming for years and our biggest bomb in history is now in a position to be on it's way at a moment's notice.

Terrified Americans, some as old as 104, are quaking in their cowboy boots as we decide which imperialist target we are going to hit. But we aren't going to tell them, although we already know what it is.

Did You Know? Kim Jong-un invented the internet.

Did You Know? Kim Jong-un invented jogging, originally called Jonging, or running.

Correction: In our article yesterday entitled: Kim Jong-un Is Brilliant At Everything, we incorrectly failed to mention he invented Dunkin Donuts.

North Korea 2

FREE DVD: INSIDE TODAY - KOREA WAR 1 SPECIAL - M*A*S*H EPISODE 1, SEASON 11

The Pyoowwbang Times (Spoof of Pyongyang Times) - North Korea's Daily

North Korea Offers Dove Of Peace To World

Doves of peace

North Korea, once again, today, offered the chance for world peace by offering the white dove of peace to our enemies.

Forced to move our biggest banging bomb into position to hit imperialist American target, today North Korea has offered an end to world aggression once and for all.

Speaking on North Korea's most popular television channel NKTV1, glorious leader, and world karaoke champion, Kim Jong-un, offered to end war across the globe for ever in a magnanimous offer America completely ignored, once again.

Time is running out, American fools. When you are next watching who you call Simon Cowell on your televisions we will strike when you least expect it.

Also in today's paper:

At Home With Kim Jong-un

Tea With Kim Jong-un

Kim Jong-un And His Dogs, Dr Evil and Austin Paws

Letters North Korea

FREE DVD: INSIDE TODAY - KOREA WAR 1 SPECIAL - M*A*S*H EPISODE 3, SEASON 6

The Pyoowwbang Times (Spoof of Pyongyang Times) - North Korea's Daily

Letters To The Editor

Dear Comrade,

Further to your brilliant article on the genius that is Kim Jong-un. I don't know where we would be today if Mr Kim had not invented the blue sky. Imperialist black skies are fine at night, but the world is a much better place with North Korean blue skies during the day.

Yours, Sheila Badfridge

Dear Comrade,

Thank you for your brilliant new television show What Bread Is, starring the wonderful Kim-Paul un-Hollywood. I had never even seen wheat before this programme. He has opened my eyes to what a patriotic North Korean can do with his hands.

Yours, 'Gorgeous' George Farringham

Dear Comrade,

Where does our esteemed genius leader get his hair done? Try as hard as I might, I can get no hairdresser here in Pyongyang to give me his exact haircut. I was told to try using a pudding bowl, but alas I don't know what a pudding is.

Yours, Shelly Grunter