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The Call Centre, 10 Delegates At The G8 and Letters 19th June 2013

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Why were tyhere 10 delegates at teh G8 summit
 

Shockgate

CONSPIRACY SPECIAL: WHO THE EXTRA 2 WERE AT THE G8 SUMMIT

The Boobs (The Sun)

Shock As BBC3's 'The Call Centre' Revealed As A Documentary

BBC3's new series The Call Centre, based on a lovable David Brent-ish figure in a Swansea call centre, is actual real life and isn't a scripted comedy show. It has shockingly been revealed in court papers today.

As we reported last week, a number of people had been encouraging Ricky Gervais to sue the BBC for a blatant rip off over the programme as the similarities to The Office were so great. But now it has been revealed that The Call Centre is real life those same people are now encouraging the BBC to sue Ricky Gervais instead.

Someone in the know said on the phone: "I just hope the person Gervais based Derek on doesn't come forward now or it could be curtains for the great short fat hairy one."

Corrections: In our article, yesterday, Russell Brand Takes Over MSNBC, it seems that a number of errors crept in. Russell Brand and Russell Crowe are not related, even though they share the same first name. The seventh line of the story should have been deleted: "She whipped it out and jammed it in until she squealed with delight." Tuesday is the day after Monday and not after Wednesday as we claimed.

Conspiracy G8

HOW TO LOSE 12 LBS IN SIX MONTHS BY JUST WATCHING CORONATION STREET AND EASTENDERS

Daily Armstretchograph (Spoof of the Daily Telegraph)

Why Were There 10 At The G8 Summit?

Eagle eyed commentators were questioning the number of delegates at the G8 summit last night, as ten people posed for the post summit picture when only eight were expected.

Most people don't know who the three people were to the far left of President Obama, we can now confirm.

An expert in branding defended keeping the G8 moniker even though there were 10 delegates: "G10 looks like the word GIO which has deeply held conspiracy undertones - if you want to ask American shout show host Alex Jones about it I would stand well back when he starts his reply."

An Agatha Christie fan added: "Instead of two mysteriously being found dead whilst at the retreat, two mysteriously appeared out of thin air."

Also in today's paper:

Was the informal, tieless, G8 summit one step towards the Russell Brandisation of world leaders? Why Russia's Putin is the most likely to wear a medallion first.

New Born Baby, Romford, Essex: "I'm not the next Dr Who."

Edward Snowden: Time To Ditch Those Glasses In Favour Of Contact Lenses? An Optician Sets Out The Pros And Cons

Letters Equitable

BORIS JOHNSON: "I'M NOT THE NEXT DR WHO OLD BOY"

Daily Moan (The Daily Mail)

Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir,

Further to your top ten almost wardrobe malfunctions on Dancing with the Stars. Most of these were not wardrobe malfunctions at all, just pervy photo editors stopping HD footage of the programme at compromising times. You should be ashamed of yourselves - if you took a picture of any woman being picked up quickly it would look like her boobs were about to pop out like that.

Yours, Harry Costumier

Dear Sir,

Further to your article, Boris Johnson is a rock star: if he was Tory leader music fans would help boost party's ratings poll by 6%, my analysis says 7% but on the whole it's a good article.

Yours, Karen Smith

Dear Sir,

I have just come across the website they call Twitter. Would I get into any kind of legal trouble if I started a website where people could write messages of 141 characters, rather than the 140 Twitter allows?

Yours, Jimmy Jones