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Baby George Special, Letters 28th July 2013

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Baby Boy George

SHOULD KATE BOW TO ROYAL BABY GEORGE? OUR ROYAL ETIQUETTE EXPERT SAYS SHE SHOULDN'T

Daily Armstretchograph (Spoof of the Daily Telegraph)

George Alexander Louis To Join Made In Chelsea

A spokesman for Channel 4 defended the decision to introduce a new character to the constructed reality series Made In Chelsea with the same name as Royal baby George, this week.

George Alexander Louis, 25, an heir to the Hoola Hoop fortune of the 1960s, is widely known as a playboy with remarkably swivelly hips.

He was once named TMZ's most eligible bachelor, and won the Elvis Presley hips swiveling championship 3 years in a row, a record not even held by Elvis himself who only won it twice.

Correction: In an earlier story, 'TOWIE Producers Register Term 'BEACH TOWLIE' For New Beach Towel Range', it seems that a number of errors crept in: The producers of TOWIE have not registered the term BEACH TOWLIE; Joey Essex cannot do an impressive impression of Basil Brush as we claimed, and the claim that one alcoholic drink a day can help reduce your chance of getting type two diabetes by 30% does not include a pint of vodka as we thought.

Georgegate

OUR ROYAL EXPERT ASKS: HAS KATE BEEN TOLD TO BOW TO BABY GEORGE?

Daily Moan (The Daily Mail)

Why I Changed My Name To George Alexander Louis This Week, By Jan Mower

Hello. George here, not Jan anymore. Ooh no.

Why, I hear you cry, would a sensible person and voice of reason such as me change their name after all of these years, my fellow middle England chums?

Well, I'll keep you in suspense no longer...

I felt it was time for a spring clean of my name, during the summer. All thanks to that delightfully wavy new Royal baby George, whom I instantly fell in love with along with all my readers.

Pimms before the rain really sets in anybody?

Video found in our exclusive YouTube video top 100 chart, published daily [link]

Also in today's paper:

Scientists Re-Program Mouse's Brain To Write Max Hastings' Column For The Daily Mail

Royal Baby Wee Can Reduce Wrinkles - That's According To A Book From 1760. We Try It Out.

Who Is Breast Feeding Baby George? Our Experts Set Out Their Stall

Letters, Hooray

DID YOU KNOW?: BABY BOY GEORGE CAN'T SING YET

Daily Moan (The Daily Mail)

Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir,

Huh? I thought Kate was having twins? Where did they put the other one? I sense a conspiracy.

Yours, Alex Jones

Video found in our exclusive YouTube video top 100 chart, published daily [link]

Dear Sir,

I would like to apologise for my letter of last week in which I confused the words rapper with raper. Thank heavens you didn't publish it.

Yours, Sherry Buffalo

Dear Sir,

Oh, come on, baby George! Stop lazing about, pooping and eating all day. Get out there and open something!

Yours, Derek Taxpayer