ELECTION WORKOUT, PART 8: THE MAY CRYING HYSTERICALLY IN THE TOILETS WORKOUT
The Thun - The Times spoof

'Strong Stable' Theresa May Talking About Found In Ruins

The strong stable that Theresa May was talking about in the election has finally been found, bashed to pieces like a wrecking ball has hit it.

The stable, above, mentioned frequently at the start of the campaign but less so later on, was initially believed to be a reference to the strength and stability of the prime minister herself.

However the prime minister was in fact referring to an actual stable that had withstood bombings of the Nazis during World War 2, and was believed locally to be indestructible.

It is this stable that is now in ruins. Smashed to bits like a paper house made out of wet tissue paper.

The end continues.

(Video found on linksdump.com)

Correction: In yesterday's story: Boris Johnston "I don't want to be Prime Minister under these circumstances" it seems there was an error: Boris Johnston is not 'a famous scatty haired blond' as we claimed. We are happy to set our reporting straight.

THERESA MAY SUPPORTER CLAIMS HUNG PARLIAMENT SOUNDS EROTIC
Daily Excrement - Daily Express

Nigel Farage To Return

Nigel Farage is to return to Brexit campaigning because he isn't appearing on the telly enough, according to sources close to his suit.

This shocking development, announced on a live television appearance, his fifteenth of the day, will be welcomed by fellow Brexiteers, who are growingly fearful for the future of Brexit, now that Theresa May is believed to be looking into options where Brexit does not mean Brexit any more.

Farage, speaking to ITV's Robert Pistoon: "The election has changed Brexit. The prime minister hasn't said 'Brexit Means Brexit' even once since the election. It is a clear sign that she now has other plans. I must stop this in its tracks."

A media advisor at the BBC told this newspaper: "It is not physically possible for Nigel Farage to be more on the telly than he is right now."

The Farage continues.

(Video found on linksdump.com)

Also In Today's Paper:

Is This The Hiking Path Theresa May Decided To Call Election While Walking On? Picture Special

Theresa May 'Looked Like Batman Joker After Crying Hysterically and Smudging Her Red Lipstick All Over Her Mouth Before Cleaning Herself Up For Election Announcement', Says ITV's Pistoon

Grand Tour's Hammond In Most Expensive Swiss Roll Escape In History

ARE YOU BREXIT OR A HARD BREXIT? TAKE OUR QUIZ
Daily Mail

Letters To The Editor

Dear Sir,

Please will you stop calling it a hung parliament. That sounds rude. Just call it an even stevens parliament please.

Yours, Mrs Borfield, 92

Dear Sir,

I completely underestimated Jedi Knight Jeremy "Obi-Wan" Corbyn. I will never question The Force again. I do hope this is the end to all my woe.

Yours, Theresa 'Darth' Mayder

(Video found on linksdump.com)

Dear Sir,

Imagine my neighbour's surprise when I put a sign outside my house that said POLLING STATION. How rude some people are when they come in and find it's just little old me in my chair looking for a nice little chat.

Yours, Brenda Cobblestone