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Satire Archive 2008
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Dec
X Factor Alexandra To Top Pops This Chrissy
+
John Sergeant's 'I'm In Heaven' Hit To Top Charts This Christmas
+
Alistair Darling's 'Halfway Down The Stairs' To Be Christmas Hit + 'My 2% Christmas' By Merv And the Bankers + 'Bish Bash Bosh' To Top Christmas Charts + Bernie Madoff And The Escapers: "All I Want For Christmas Is All Your Money"
Basset Hound Gets A Christmas Juicing
+
Bin Laden Doggie In Christmas Panto
+
Nervous Dog Gets 50,000 Volt Shock
Irish Man To Attempt 'Suicide By Sausage' On Website
+
Why Sausage Suicide Man Must Die
+
Death By Sausage!
BBC's Wogan Must Resign Over Inappropriate 'DG' Quips
+
Balding Middle Aged Tory Arrested. It's A Bleedin Disgrace!
+
It Was MP Green, With the Lead Piping In The Library, Police Claim In Christmas Party Cluedo Arrest + Do You Know Anyone Hot Who Knows Leak MP Who Wants To Strip To The Waist For Our Page 3?
Britain's Bankers Now Biggest Bonkers in Europe
+
Britain Moans Through Recession. It's a Disgrace!
+
Britain To Sing Through Recession
Video of the week: This is a question from the SNP to the Scottish Secretary... "Will he get it into his thick skull..." Stitch you...
Nov
BBC To Replace All Comedy With Kitten Playing With Ball Of Wool
+
As BBC Replace All New Comedy With Kitten Playing With Ball Of Wool, We Reprint Our Criticism Of The Original Intermission Film Printed in 1957
+
At Last, Something Funny From BBC Comedy
John Sergeant Winning In I'm A Celeb! Shock
+
SHITV Must Cut Down The 'Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here' Nudity At Once!
+
John Sergeant To Be Surprise Guest On 'I'm Strictly Come Dancing Get Me Out Of Here', This Saturday
+
Ant And Dec For Prime Minister
Interest Rates Bazooka'd By 1.5%
+
It's About Bleedin Time The Bank Of England Slashed Interest Rates By 1.5%, Gawd Blimey!
+
Bank Of England Comes To Rescue Of Home Owners
+
Banks Must Reduce Rates To Negative Amounts Immediately
BBC One Controller Must Now Quit Over Sergeant Demise
+
John Sergeant Quits? It's A Bleedin Disgrace!
+
'Strictly' Judges Should Be Sacked For Hounding Out Our John
+
Miss Piggy Leaves Muppet Strictly Come Dancing + John Sergeant 'Not Gay Enough' For Strictly Come Dancing + John Sergeant To Be Offered Position Of Judge On Strictly Come Dancing Next Year + John Sergeant To Be Honoured For Services To Dance
Football Manager Fined After Telling Referee:
"Sir With All Due Respect You Are Such A Slow Coach That You Couldn't Referee A Snail Race By Gad!"
+
YOU PILLOCK-STOMPIN-MAD-PRATTIN-WAZZOCK-CHUGGIN-HEART-ATTACKIN-MENTAL-CAS'IN-SLOW-BUGG'IN-FAT-LARD-ARSIN- REFEREE!
+
Manager Calls Referee A Squirrel, And Other Things Managers Shout At Referees
+
Football Managers In Dock
Brown And Cameron Clash In Commons Over BO
+
Why Oh Why Oh Why Did Sex Cat Sarah Palin Not Win The US Election?
+
Obama Wamma Bamma Slamma!!!
+
US Erection: Hot Sarah Palin Doesn't Win
Flash Gordon Vows To Defeat Banker Ming
+
Tuppence Ha'penny Off VAT And A Trillion Pounds Worth Of Debt? It's a Bleedin Disgrace!
+
The Name's Darling, Alistair Darling + Get David Van Day Out Of The Jungle Or The Economy Gets It!
Woolies Bullies Pullies The Plugie
+
Damn and Blast, Where Will I Get My Pic'n'Mix From Now Woolies Has Gone Bankrupt?
+
30+ Stone Woman To Lose 20 Stones Now She Can't Get Her Hands On Woolies Pic'n'Mix
Oct
Brown's Black And Blue Wednesday
+
Phew! Brown Manages To Not Cock It All Up
+
Gordon Brown Saves The World, Please Help Us Now Gordon
+
Black And Blue Wednesday
Credit Crunch Song
Brown's Bank Plan Adopted By US Government
+
'The Brown Plan', Gordy's Bank Bailout Strategy, Gets Named
+
United Socialists Of America
+
Now Bank Tier 1 Capital Ratios Have Been Boosted By The Latest Government Funded Equity-Capital Injections, What Next For T'Economy?
Paxo We Have A Problem
Full Transcript of The BBC Text Message Apology To Andrew Sachs
+
Brand and Ross Should Be Castrated For Manuel Insults
Germany Invades Bank Accounts
+
Germany In Worst Stuffing Of The British Since 1939
+
Germany Confuse Many With 'Are They Or Aren't They' Guarantee Of Bank Accounts
+
It's War!
Yachtgate: What Was George Osborne Wearing?
+
Osborne Couldn't Have Run A Mile When Donation Was Mentioned
+
Why Are We Never Invited To Parties Like That One?
Sept
FT To Be Renamed F-ing Hell Times Until Further Notice
Disaffected Labour Supporters Begin Campaign Of Blowing Raspberries At Gordon Brown
+
Phantom Raspberry Blower From Olde London Town To The Rescue!
+
Downing Street On High Raspberry Alert
+
Gordon Brown Relaunch Delayed Due To Inclement Wind Sounds Coming In From London Streets
Kevin Keegan Disappears
+
Kevin Keegan Murdered By Newcastle Boss
+
What Next For Newcastle United Football Club Shareholders Now That Nobody Knows Where Manager Keegan Is, Huh?
+
Kevin Keegan Is Sacked
Lemming Brothers Drop Dead
+
25,000 Dead In Lehming Brothers Collapse
+
Lemon Brothers Juiced
+
Lehman Brothers Lost At Sea, Knocked Asunder By Bad Storms Me Hearties
Newcastle To Be Dumped By Northern Cock-Up
Global Financial Disaster Hits 'D List'
+
Central Banks Pump 10 Gazillion Into Financial Markets
+
World's Largest Insurance Company Now 87th
+
Financial Armageddon Hits New High Lows
HBOS And LloydsTSB Pledge 'Worst TV Ads Ever' Following Merger
+
LloydsHalifaxBUST Is New Name for Merged Mega Bank
+
Short Sellers To Be Arrested, Held In Guantanamo
+
All Investors Under 5ft 3in Banned From Trading
Royal Bank Of Scotland Could Be Dead In A Minute, Claims Former Short Seller
'Roy Kinnear Takes Over At Newcastle FC', An Apology
Aug
Oooh, Inflation Rate Is A Palindrome, Is That Normal?
BAA Must Sell All 'Lost' Luggage From Two Of Its Three London Airports
British Airways To Demand 'Excess Baggage' For Olympic Medals
Who Is This Fat English Scruff?
+
London Mayor Ruined Olympics For Us
+
Goldenballs Gets Own Goal!
+
Britain Puts In Record Order For Glorious Chinese Fireworks For 2012
Gordon Brown: "I'm Going To Look Really Cross At The Olympics"
Plot To Kidnap David Miliband's Dental Hygienist Foiled
Gary Glitter Comes To Support Of David Cameron
+
Gary Glitter Comes To Support Of Gordon Brown
+
Gary Glitter Comes To Support Of David Milliband
Gordon Brown From Above
Loan Sharks Set To Enter Mortgage Market
+
Chancellor Darling Considers Doubling The Rate Of Stamp Duty
+
Down And Outs Who Sleep On the Street Are Now Richer Than People Who Own Homes
Cockahoop & Cocksure Announce Profit Warning
SHITV1 - Tonight's Television Listing
Greedy Water Companies Ask OFWAT To Link Price Of Water To Price Of Evian
Editorial features
Where Is The Cheapest And Best Place To Buy Bargain DVDs On The Internet?
"The Cost Of Mobiles May Be Considerably More Expensive"
July
You Can't Hurry A Murray!
+
Murray Was Mint To Win!
+
5-7, 3-6, 7-6, 6-2, 6-4
London Mayor Gets Tit Caught In Ringer
I Punished Man On Cameron's Bike, Says Mistress Of Torture
+
Where Were Cameron's Secret Service When His Bike Went Missing?
+
"Where's That Blasted Bicycle Gone?"
+
What Did Cameron Do After His Bicycle Was Lost?
Kellogg's Reveal New 'Credit Crunchy' Breakfast Cereal
Is Gay Bishop Gay Enough?
How Long Can Britain's Top Spy Be In A Coma And Still Be Britain's Top Spy?
June
Brown's Answer To The Meaning Of Terror And Everything? 42
+
Gordon Brown, A Third Apology
+
42: Douglas Adams Turns In His Grave
+
DON'T PANIC, GORDY BROWN GETS HIS 42
Bend Over, Euro Tory, Steps Down
+
Den Dover Explains His Embarrassment At Being Called Bend Over By Liberal Press
Queues Outside Museums Before Expected Strike Next Week
Inflation At 3.3% Even Though Prices Up Much More In Last Year
+
Tyre Pressure Inflation Could Increase Above 34 This Year
+
Inflation At 3.3% Over The Last Year? This Must Surely Be A Lie, Up There With The 45 Minutes Iraq Claim, The Office Of National Statistics Have Some Explaining To Do
Can't Think Of Anything New To Write About Big Brother 2008
+
Davina McCall, An Apology
+
Big Brother Is OK So Far
+
Seven In A Bed Shame Of Big Brother Bobby
+
"I'm Gonna Stab Someone", Says Crazy Bitch In Big Brother House
Trinity Mirror Share Price Down 40% Today
May
Binge Drinkers Blamed For Boris Johnson Vote
+
Londoners Give Satirists Best Gift In Decade, Says VOR Editor
+
Boris Johnson To Dissolve Position Of London Mayor In Accordance With Tory Policy
+
Boris Johnson is New London Nightmayor + David Cameron On Suicide Watch After Boris Johnson Win
Boris Cam Latest
My 'Bust' Boob, By 'Busty' Boom-Boom Brown
+
Gordon Brown Is A Fish, Claims Marine Expert
+
Isinit An Boom Busta?
+
Prime Minister Apologises For 'End To Boom And Bust' Gaff
Eurovision: We Woz Robbed
+
Was It Coz He Was A Dustman?
+
Prime Minister Announces Inquiry Into Eurovision Debacle
+
Let's Wait Till We Have A Good Song Before We Moan About The Voting
Royal Wedding Disposable Camera Pictures Now Developed! Part 1
and Part 2
Apr
Credit Crunch:
Why Oh Why Oh Why Did The Bank Of England Give £50bn To Banks?
+
Banks Get £50bn From Bank Of England
+
Analysis: Bank of England Outline Terms Of £50bn Lender Of Last Resort Financing
Cannabis Controversy:
Brown: "I Will Rename Cannabis To Bannabis"
+
Government To Reclassify Cannabis To C+ Drug
+
Government Experts Advise Brown To 'Sit On His Hands' On Drugs Issue
+
How Are We Supposed To Buy Our Illegal Drugs In Safety If the Government Can't Even Make Up Its Own Mind How Dangerous They Are In The First Place?
Gordon Brown Popularity Slumps:
Letters To The Editor On Gordon Brown
+
68% Of Population Have No Confidence In Gordon Brown's Handling Of The Economy
Humphrey Lyttelton Dies:
Legend Humphrey
Littleton
,
Littyleton
Lyttelton Dies All Of A Sudden
+
Humphrey Lyttelton Is Dead, It's A Disgrace
National Union Of Teachers Strike:
They're All NUTs!
+
NUTS, THE LOT OF 'EM
+
NUT Strike, Letters To The Editor
+
NUT Out On Strike? It's A Bleedin' Disgrace
Olympic Torch Reaches London - Chaos Ensues:
What Do We Want? More Money, When Do We Want It? NOW!
+
Blue Peter Connie Huq Mugged During Olympic Torch Run
+
Police Contain Tibet Protests, One Ex Blue Peter Presenter Beaten Up
+
What The Huq Is Going On?
Mar
Official Text Of The Speech Of Allegiance To Her Majesty, For Students
Bad Weather: And Now Over To Our Correspondent On The Beach In Brighton
+
And Now Over To Our Correspondent In Lands End
+
And Now Over To Our Correspondent In Torquay
+
And Now Over To Our Correspondent In Bristol
Your At A Glance Budget Main Points On An Eyebrow
Imagine Our Surprise When We Saw This Credit At The End of 5:00pm - 6:00 pm, Season 5 of 24
McCartney Divorce: Why Oh Why Oh Why Did They Give Heather Mills A Jug Of Water To Pour Over Macca's Lawyer's Head In The First Place?
+
Is This The Jug Of Water Heather Poured Over Macca's Lawyer?
+
Mills Would Have Thrown Custard Pie At Lawyer Had She Got One, Expert Claims
+
Mills Tried To Fix Bucket Of Water Above Door To Dunk McCartney Lawyer
Porn Baron Dies After Stroke
+
Paul Raymond Life To Be Celebrated With 1000 Breast Salute
+
Porn Baron All Banged Out At 82
+
KING OF PHWORE HANGS UP HIS SWORD AT 82
QUEEN TO ACCEPT DELAYED ROYAL LUGGAGE IN CONCLUDING PART OF OFFICIAL TERMINAL 5 OPENING CEREMONY, LATER TODAY
Heathrow T5 Update: Ten Dead In Terminal 5 Bloodbath
+
Passengers On The 20% Canceled Flights At T5 Today Were Complete Wankers, Says Airport Man
+
I Flew From T5 Today With No Problem At All, What Is All the Fuss About?
+
Ticket Machine Called Me A Cunt, Says Irate T5 Traveler
Feb
Archbishop Of Canterbury Criticizes Pepperami
The Bank of England Reduced Interest Rates By 0.25% Today, But Is This The Smallest Rate Cut Possible?
China Olympics To Open With ET/Close Encounters Theme In Spite Of Spielberg's Exit
Deathquake: Market Rasen Survives
+
Earthquake Measuring 5.2563456 Hits Lincolnshire Town
+
None Dead As Market Rasen Gets The Shakes
+
DEATH TOLL IN MARKET RASEN SET TO CLIMB
Is PM Gordon Brown Dead?
+
Brown Dribbles On Desk After Impromptu Nap
+
For Gawds Sake Let The Prime Minister Sleep!
+
SLEEPY HEAD!
Northern Cock-Up To End Sponsorship Of Newcastle United
WHEN HARRY MET TALI
+
BRING HIM HOME!
+
What Happened To Harry?
+
WHO TOLD THE DRUDGE REPORT ABOUT HARRY?
+
Didn't He Do Well?
+
Who Knew What And When?
Homeless To Police Under Age Drinkers
Is This Doodle From Vince Cable The Link Scientists Have Been Waiting For?
Jan
MoD Lose 347 Laptops
July 4th Should Be New UK Bank Holiday
Exclusive: Jade and Shilpa Shetty To Co Hijack Big Brother
A Boeing 777 Crashes At Heathrow, But How Do You Say the Number? Our Readers Give Us Their Suggestions
CD Of Register Of Members Interests Lost
Gordon Brown Attends Ditherers Anonymous Meeting
I Know this Sounds Callous But Are We Absolutely Sure Jeremy Beadle Is Dead?
NHS: Government Meets MRS A Targets
NEWS AT TEN BONG BUTTON™
Remains Of Northern Rock Washed Up On Dorset Beach
British Prime Minister Gordon Brown in handshake gaffe, India, January 2008
McCartney
Divorce: Why Oh Why Oh Why Did They Give Heather Mills A Jug Of
Water To Pour Over Macca's Lawyer's Head In The First Place?
Heathrow
T5 Update: Ten Dead In Terminal 5 Bloodbath
Is
PM Gordon Brown Dead?
WHEN
HARRY MET TALI
MoD
Lose 347 Laptops
NEWS
AT TEN BONG BUTTON™