Archive 2015

Current Archive / Past Archives: 2016 2014

December 2015

What Will Happen In 2016 + God Floods Hillary Benn's Constituency + Letters

Hillary Benn Speech 'Better Than The Speech On Independence Day' + "Maybe This Friday Will Be Black Friday After All," Says Shop Manager + Letters

Donald Trump Sweepstakes + Dark Matter Might Not Be Dark, Says Scientist + Letters

Donald Trump Impersonators Set To Outnumber Elvis Impersonators By Christmas 2016 + What If It Keeps Getting Darker At Night After Winter Solstice Passes? + Letters

People With Healthier Looking Bodies Healthier Than Those Without, Study Finds + Egypt's Mickey Mouse Christmas TV Special Leads To Seventy Three Arrests + Letters

Britain Given Spaceman For Christmas + The First Star Wars Reviews Now In + Letters

November 2015

Adele's New Album 'Will Be Mega Ginormous', Predicts Music Insider + Fears Labour Row Will Escalate To Implosion + Letters

British Bank Trialling Exclusive Man-To-Man Payments Service + Arrested Woman Dressed As Barney The Dinosaur Steals Cop Car + Letters

Fancy Trousers Sell Out In London + Turkeys To Strike Before Christmas + Letters

Cyber Friday Leads On To Cyber Saturday + Jeremy Corbyn Goes Somewhere After Telling Andrew Marr He Isn't Going Anywhere + Letters

'Largest Ever' Number Of Sherlock Holmes Versions Being Filmed Blamed For Disruptive London Fog This Week + Prince Harry On Media More Than Chris Evans Last Week + Letters

Portable Personal Bomb Shelters PLC To Float On Stock Market + Healthy Men's Magazines Run Out Of Fit Looking Men For Cover + Letters

David Cameron Criticised For Wearing Last Year's Poppy, Again + Prime Minister Approaches Most James Bond Type Day Ever + Letters

October 2015

Back To the Future Day Sees Flux Capacitor Sales Slump + Marty McFly Appears On Time + Letters

China Growth Looks Just Like Sexy Number 69, Pnarf + We Woz McRobbed + Letters

RWC: England Could Still Make Quarter Finals If They Beat Uruguay By 1,000,000 Points, Technically + Rugby World Cup: England Set To Apologise More Comprehensively After Uruguay Match + Letters

5 Things To Do Now The Rugby's Over + Downing Street Denies Meeting Took Place Between Miss Piggy And Prime Minister + Letters

'Suicide By Sausage' Claims Hit Hotdog Speed Eating Championship + Sepp Blatter: 'I Wanted To Be Bond Villain' + Letters

People Using Those Metal Baskets For Shopping Just Like Plastic Bags Now, Survey Shows + Local Children Bruise Feet As Illegal Conkers Match Gets Out Of Hand + Letters

Airline Luggage Handlers To Target TalkTalk Employees To Make Sure Their Luggage Is Lost First + TalkTalk Executive Knocks Self Out In Hilarious Toilet Accident + Letters

Immigrants Made Us Lose Rugby World Cup, Insists May + Local English Rugby Fans Finally Run Out Of Beer + Letters

September 2015

Bald People Are 'Normal', Insists IDS + Wayne Rooney Now Better Than Bobby Charlton + Letters

China Crisis Albums Sales Slump In Spite Of China Crisis In News + Game Of Thrones Season 6 To Have Happy Ending + Letters

Austerity Britain: Next James Bond To Sing Own Theme + Local Cat Writes New Bond Theme In Under 20 Minutes + Letters

Jeremy Corbyn Wears Brown T-Shirt With Blue Shorts, Black Socks, Horror + Labour Shadow Chancellor Officially Beyond Parody + Letters

Number 10 Can't Find Nuclear Button + Prime Minister's Nuclear Button Moved To Kitchen During Redecoration + Letters

Jeremy Corbyn And Obi Wan Kenobi Never Seen Together Shock + BBC Starts Filming Lady Chatterley's Puppy, Locally + Letters

Fears Grow That 360 Degree Photographs Will Increase Family Holiday Snaps Viewing By Days + Pig Of 'David Cameron And Pig' Picture Fame Found + Letters

Pig Farmers Come Out In Support Of Prime Minister + David Cameron Admits To Having 'Pig Of A Day' + Letters

August 2015

55,000 MP Names Could Be In Ashley Madison Database + Local Man Named In Ashley Madison Database Died With Smile On Face + Letters

Cecil The Lion Halloween Costume Removed From Shops + James Bond Stopped By Airport Security + Letters

'Who The Fook? Big Brother' "Celebrity" Row Escalates + Clumsy Segway Cameraman Set To Make Guest Appearance At Local Bank Holiday Fete + letters

'Hemsworth's Abs Are Fantastic Really Up Close,' Says Vacation Co-Star + 'Hemsworth's Abs Look Fantastic At Back Of Cinema,' Says Local Manager + Letters

Confusion Grows Over Ed Sheeran's Chest + Clumsy Segway Cameraman Still Booked For Next G8 Meeting + Letters

Video Emerges Of A Young Jeremy Corbyn Shouting At Maggie Thatcher + Margaret Thatcher Removes Glasses To Shout At Jeremy Corbyn + Letters

One Direction To Split Into Multitudinous New Directions + Cats Learning To Talk Like In Planet Of The Apes, But Like Cats + Letters

Have You Forgotten That Thing Again? + Eating Ice Creams While Crossing The Road Leading To Death + Letters

Mmmmh! Does Alcohol Made Out Of Vegemite Taste Really Yummy? + Marvel To Make Movie Of England Cricket Team + Letters

July 2015

Mitsubishi Criticised For Saying Sorry In Japanese Accent + Pound Plummets After Retail Sales Data + Letters

BBC Starts Showing Adverts On Website + Bloke Who Looks Like Father Christmas Set To Lead Labour Party Ho Ho + Letters

Angela Merkel Chokes On Greek Olive + EEEK! Pluto Means Something Spooky In Greek Mythology + Letters

Greece Crisis: Delays Caused By Tsipras Deciding On Correct Emojis To Use + 94 Year-Olds To Have A Minutes 'F*ck Off' In Solidarity With Philip + Letters

RESULT CONFUSION IN GREECE REFERENDUM AS IT'S REVEALED THAT 'NAI' ACTUALLY MEANS 'YES' + Hottest Summer In History And Still People Moaning + Letters

Animals All Puffed Out This Weather + How To Enjoy A Level 3 Heatwave + Letters

Supermarkets Forcing Shoppers To Do 'Hitler Salute' To Get Goods On Top Shelf Shocker + Everything You Did When You Were 7 Is Coming Back To Haunt You, Famous People Told + Letters

Fears Grow That Calais Migrants Could Try Buying Ticket Next + Windows 10 Is Brilliant [SPONSORED] + Letters

June 2015

Crayyyziest Reality Star Who Has Ever Lived Returns To Big Brother House + The Sun Risks Second Earthquake with Page Three Invite To Woman With 'Mountain Rocker Knockers' + Letters

Number Of Fivers Found In Citrus Fruits Continues To Grow Following Britain's Got Talent Final + Fatter Blatter Splatter + Letters

Chris Evans Is New Jeremy Clarkson On Renamed Ginger Top Gear + Jeremy Clarkson Rules Himself Out As New Host Of TFI Friday + Letters

Barack Obama Won White House Charity Quiz On French Presidents In 2014 + Eastern European Workers Set To Force Queen Out Of Buckingham Palace + Letters

The Greek Crisis In A Nutshell For Dummies + Is Now The Best Time To Go On Holiday To Greece? + Letters

Fears That Glastonbury Crowd Might Try To Urinate On Kanye West + How To Fight A Jelly Fish + Letters

Magaluf's New Drinking Laws: How Much Does It Cost To Urinate In The Street Now? + Russia Striped Of 2058 World Cup + Letters

Supermarkets Recall 'Peanut And Butter Free Peanut Butter' After Peanuts And Butter Found In It + People Who Make Your Sandwiches Can Touch Their Noses With Their Hands While Making Them Shocker + Letters

May 2015

Channel 5 Announces First Dog To Enter Big Brother House As Contestant + British Degree Educated Women Best At Falling Over When Drunk, Says Survey + Letters

Canapes Could Be Cancer Cure + Sunshiney Weather Turns Country Into Bunch Of Poseurs, Claims Doctor + Letters

Chuka Umunna Look-A-Like Arrested for Punching Man Eating Hot Dog In The Face + Video Emerges That Finally Explains Everything + Letters

Smiley Moonfaced Man Wins In Unexplained Election Victory + Everyone Resigns As Strange Power Envelops Politicians + Letters

Shock As Man Dressed As A Man Down The Pub Wins Eurovision Song Contest + Apprenticeships 'Work Better For Those Over 60 Years Of Age' Experts Claim + Letters

Political Correspondents To Face 56% Cuts After Election + Your Guide To Tactile Voting + Letters

Google says sorry over fattist Google Maps Downing Street search results + Do Panda's Poop Too Much? + Letters

Naughty People Tipped For Greatness In 'New Economy' + Scotland To Boycott World Cup In 2018 + Letters

Royal Baby Election Crisis: What Happens If They Name The Baby On General Election Day? + Could Royal Baby Be About To Be Named Same As Another Member Of Royal Family? + Letters

April 2015

Britain's Got Talent Contestant Breaks Fundamental Law Of Physics + Election 2015: 'British Hillary Clinton' and 'British Barack Obama' Eat Ice Cream Together + Letters

Ed Miliband Canvases Votes From Leader Of People Who Don't Vote + CAN THE PARANORMAL MAKE YOU VOTE CONSERVATIVE? + Letters

Election Live: Political Leaders Take Opportunity To Claim Stuff They Will Never Do In Reality On April Fools Day + Fictional Characters Show Support For Political Parties + Letters

Grant Shapps: 'World's Greatest Englishman', Reports Wikipedia + General Election Descends Into Farce + Letters

Leaders Of Main Political Parties In 'Naked Walk Challenge' + Government Issues Ice Cream Warning For Hot Weather + Letters

David Cameron Shows Voters How To Eat A Hot Dog + Prime Minister Bores Child To Sleep + Letters

Office Dandys Set To Vote Conservative + Britain Gets 5% Fatter On Easter Egg Day + Letters

SNP Will 'Unleash Loch Ness Monster On England' If Elected, Claims Expert + How Easy Is It To Fail A Dementia Test If You Are Really Trying? + Letters

Spider-Man Has To Take Costume Off To Take A Wee + Fears That Fat Lady Might Sing Before General Election Over + Letters

March 2015

Nervous, Stuttering, David Cameron Predicted To Accidentally Ask Queen For Divorce + Jeremy Paxman Polls Record 0 In TV Debates

"I Didn't Say I Was As Fit As A Fiddle," Stresses Nigel Farage + Madonna Set To Copyright 'Backwards Cape Slam' Before WWE Does

Harrison Ford's Plane Crash More Like Him In Indiana Jones Than Him In Star Wars, Agrees Twitter + Broadcasters Start Suffering Inexplicable Bad Luck Hours After Agreeing To 'Empty Chair' PM In Debates

International Day Of Happiness Was One Of Happiest Days On Record + Top Eight Things SNP Expected To Ask Labour For In Coalition Talks

Car Companies Hire Boxers To Review Jeremy Clarkson's 'Punch'

Kitchens Now 'Most Dangerous Place' For Politicians + Fans In Steak Dinner Vigils As Jeremy Clarkson Sacked

George Osborne 'I Wore Wrong Trousers' + ITNs Budget Budgie Chokes And Dies Live On Air

Poundland Told To Change Name To Poundishland + Income Of People With Fake Tans 'Back To Pre Crisis' Levels

Top Gear Set To Merge With Last Of The Summer Wine + Man Killed When Sack Of Health Food Falls On His Head

February 2015

Ed Miliband To Weaponise Bacon Sandwiches + 12 Inch iPad Doomed To Be Used As Drinks Tray In Posh London Houses, Says Expert + Letters

Bill Somebody Quits Labour Party + Jenny Thingamajig Says She's Interested In Making A Labour Party Donation + Letters

Fears Growing That Onions Are Being Confused With Daffodils + America Wants To Change Colour Of Newcastle Brown Ale To Yellow + Letters

What Has Happened To Today's BBC Now That Children Are Ten Times More Likely To Have 'Done It' In Whodunnits Than The Butler Did, Following Latest Eastenders Murder Shocker? + Funniest Drunk Man In World Revealed + Letters

Check With Your Newspaper Horoscope Before Calling A Doctor, Says MP + Green Leader's Cough Clears Up Nicely + Letters

Samsung TVs Hacked, Thousands Of Hilarious Arguments Now Online + Man With Swiss Army Knife Donates To Conservative Party + Letters

The Daily Telegraph: HSBC The 'King Of All Banks', Says Editor + Live Action Eastenders Tipped To Go 'Horribly Wrong' + Letters

UKIP Slamming Documentary Slammed By UKIP + NASA Celebrates 25 Year Anniversary Of Worst Picture Of Earth Ever Taken + Letters

January 2015

Cameron Hebdo Special - I Forgive You All, My Week, Letters

Chilcot Report Not Due Out 'Before Third Series Of Broadchurch' + BBC Losing Money Everytime Someone Clicks On A Website Link + Letters

Election 2015 Shock Poll: Monster Raving Loony Party Support Surges + Only Unfunny Picture Of Ed Miliband Sells For £30,000 On Ebay + Letters

Greece Offers To Settle All Debts With Ouzo + Stranger Gives Young Man £50 For His 'Polite' Rottweiler + Letters

LibDems Doing Just As Badly On Newly Discovered Earth + Sainsburys Shares Collapse After Christmas Jumpers Revealed As Biggest Seller Of Christmas + Letters

Paparazzi Offered $2.5mn For First Picture Of Pope Punching Someone + Al Murray Supporters Blamed For Euro Tunnel Closure + Letters

Five Things You Should Do In A Job Interview + Five Things You Shouldn't Do In A Job Interview + Letters

Fears Growing That YouTube Is 'Almost Full Up' + #Je Suis Harry Hill + Letters