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Alex Heart

Free Inside: Hutch sideburns, normal cost £1.99
The Moon (spoof of The Sun)
Fergie gets pacemaker fitted
Magnets banned from Old Trafford

Fergie

Security at Old Trafford is to be stepped up following the announcement that manager Alex Ferguson had a pacemaker fitted earlier this week. Away fans will be stopped from bringing magnets, or radio controlled devices, into the ground by new security measures - it is feared that these devices could be used to take control of Ferguson's heart during a game. Manchester United's manager will beep when going through airport security scans for the rest of his life.

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