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Daily Moan (spoof of Daily Mail)
Special Investigation
Crouton Crime Sweeps UK
Customers who are free to help themselves to croutons in restaurants frequently take 'criminally large amounts', sometimes exceeding the legally allowed maximum by a 'very large amount indeed', a latest report claims.
These findings come in a report published today by a pressure group calling itself the Catering Managers of the UK.
The group claims that 60% of people who are allowed to help themselves from the crouton bowl in restaurants take significantly more croutons than required, with only 15% taking exactly the right amount.
Catering Managers of the UK have called on the government to bring in a statutory limit to the amount of croutons customers are allowed to take: "Two desert spoonfuls of croutons for a bowl of soup, one for a mug or cup, is our preferred designated maximum. The spoon must be dry to stop croutons clinging underneath the spoon. The spoon should not be too heaped that croutons fall off in transit from the crouton bowl to the designated soup container," a man told us.

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