Doctors Hail New Wonder Drug

Wonder drug to reduce weight, stop smoking and lower cholesterol

A new wonder drug has been hailed as a cure-all of all of life's worries today. The drug which, when taken in capsule form, kills instantly, reduces cholesterol, stops weight gain and smoking all at once. "The drug, based on Cyanide, instantly stops the craving for nicotine and food because it stops you breathing," a researcher told us. Cyaprob™ has been fêted as the best hope for a slimmer, healthier, nation since the Third Reich.