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Silent Treatment

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Dully Mirror (spoof of Daily Mirror)
England stars give us exclusive silence
Exclusive interviews with Owen, James and Beckham
Sven
Pole Hyperbole
Despite a media blackout by England stars we have managed to get exclusive silent interviews with some of England's finest.
I am joined by captain David Beckham. So, Dave, how was the game for you? DB:"... ". I saw Posh in the crowd she doesn't look fat yet? DB: "!!!...!" A BBC commentator told us he thought you were shit? DB: "!...%"
Turning to Michael Owen here, you didn't score a goal but you looked like you were running around a bit? MO: "!.... !" You've got really little legs haven't you? MO: "...."
David James if I can sit on your knee for a moment, you didn't screw up this time, why was that? DJ: "?...!"
Well, thanks guys for your time.
9 Sept

Silence of the Lions

We will pay you £5.50 if you buy this paper and buy a paperback book too
The Thun (spoof of The Times)
ENGLAND WIN BACK PRIDE WITH POLAND OWN GOAL

Video replays show that it was Poland's defender Glowacki who scored England's winning goal in the England v Poland game last night, showing what a great side England can be when luck is on their side. Michael Owen was pretty close to the ball at the time, although in an after match interview he was quiet.

9 Sept

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