| |
Channel
Four Squirt
|
|
|
Apology
to Tom Cruise
|
 The
management, staff and pets of employees at Channel
Four would like to apologise to A-List movie
star Tom Cruise for squirting him with water
at a premiere yesterday. The
producer who authorised the stunt, misheared
what the screen talent wanted to do. The producer
thought they said they wanted to get the 'little
squirt' on the program, and not give the A-List
celebrity a little squirt of water.
We
would like to apologise unreservedly to the
star, 5ft 6in, who has just got engaged again,
both for squirting him with water, and for
thinking he was a little squirt in the first
place. Four people are helping police with
their enquiries.
|
|
|
20
June
|
|
|
See
also: Is this the most squirtable
man in Britain?
|
Why
not e-mail a link to a friend?
|
|
|
|
Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
|
|
|
Squirtman
|
|
|
IS
THIS THE MOST SQUIRTABLE MAN IN BRITAIN?
|
|
|
| Britons
with water pistols and buckets of water
were called to arms today to drench this
man. (He was the man who squirted Tom
Cruise at the War of the World premiere
yesterday.) If you see him give him a
drenching and tell him we sent you... |
|
|
|
21
June
|
|
|
Happy
Slapping
|
|
|
GIVE
THIS MAN A HAPPY SQUIRTING!
|
|
|
|
Here
at the Daily Moan if there is one thing
that really annoys us it's going to
go on our front page. So here, today,
we call on all Happy Slappers across
the country to get this man. We haven't
a clue who he is, but he squirted Tom
Cruise yesterday, and he works for Channel
Four, the bastards. Send your videos
of your slappings to us...
|
|
|
|
21
June
|
|
|
|
|
Radio
Four Squit
|
|
|
Radio
4: Dixon of Dock Green Investigates a Squirting
Incident in Leicester Square...
|
|
Evening
all... what's it that we have ere then? Someone
with a water pistol? A spoof journalist none
the less? Squirting a movie star? Tom Cruise?
In the face, or on the chin to be more exact.
What's going on here then? A movie star with
a wet chin? Not on my beat he ain't! So I wasted
no time and went to apprehend the bugger.
So
I approached the assailant and bent me knees
all polite like, and said 'will you mind accompanying
me to the station then?' He said 'all right,
it's a fair cop guv.'
So,
alls well that ends well. I spent the rest of
the day doing the paperwork. Be good to each
other, good night.
|
|
|
22
June
|
|
|
|
|
