Norman
Kember, the 74 year old peace campaigner, freed by our glorious freedom fighters
last week, got locked in the airline toilets on his return to Blighty for three
hours, we have been assured. This brings to two the number of kidnappy-type things
that has happened to him in the last three months. To
add insult to injury, Kember was even told to stop flushing the toilet because
it was making the cabin lights dim. A
spokesman for British Aircrafts, Percy Smudgeon, told this moanspaper: "It
is always a shame when people who have been locked up for six months get stuck
in our toilets on the way home. But at no time was Mr Kember ever treated like
a hostage while stuck there, although it has to be said we couldn't get any food
or drink to him in the duration of his in-toilet incarceration. But he had a pumpy-type-tap
and plenty of squidgy soap. We have filed a report and are more sorry than words
can convey. On the positive side, the person sitting next to him on the plane
considerably enjoyed the extra leg room." | 
