An
illegal immigrant who managed to get a job in the Home Office counting illegal
immigrants may have misrepresented the number of illegal immigrants in the country
substantially over the last five years, a secret Home Office e-mail which has
come into our possession, speculates. The
illegal immigrant, who cannot be named because he keeps changing his name every
time he is asked what it is, made a tear filled confession in which he admitted
to not being able to work the calculator on his desk. We
phoned the Home Office for a comment but the illegal immigrant working on the
switchboard refused to put us through to the minister. | 
