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February 2007
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Old Bird Death

FREE BLANK PAGE TO SCRIBBLE ON FOR EVERY READER
The Boobs (spoof of The Sun)
BERNARD MATTHEWS FOUND DEAD

Bernard Matthews, the Turkey to Chicken Kievs supremo, was found dead at his Norfolk mansion last night.

The entrepreneur, who's company is currently at the centre of an H5N1 Bird Flu outbreak and questions as to how the outbreak broke out, where did the outbreak come from and why did they import the outbreak from Hungary in the first place and then send stuff back to Hungary while the factory was under lockdown, uhm... continues...

This is the biggest media crisis since Shilpa Shetty was shouted at by Jade Goody in Celebrity Big Brother. Ironically, one of their disagreements was over chicken curry, a product produced at the Bernard Matthews farm/factory at the centre of this latest outrage.

Correction: Bernard Matthews is not dead.

12 Feb

 
 
 

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