Bird flu, in the UK? Let us get this right: the first major outbreak in the UK is in a sealed factory, not in the outside? Are you having a laugh?

This is the most outrageous thing we have ever heard! Had the outbreak happened in a flock outside then OK, fine, but inside a sealed factory like this? Bird flu in there? Someone must have put it in there, if you ask us.

Why won't they tell us the truth? It's a bleedin bloody conspiracy that's what it is. It's a bloody terrorist attack! They never found out how that Foot and Mouth outbreak started did they? Bloody hell, bet they never find out how this one started either.

Why oh why oh why didn't they ask us to help? It would never have happened in the first place then. Bloody typical. Why do we even bother?