If there is one thing that makes my blood boil, it is when the bloody United Nations tells us that the kids in this country are having a hard time of it.

I was brought up during the war (the Falklands War) and I can tell you right now, they've never had it so good. Today there is no rationing. In my day we had no Digi-bloody-tal TV... I had to make do with BBC1 and a hand carved model of a Red Indian my grandfather whittled for me out of a chair leg.

The kids today don't know they're born. They've never known hard graft. We were all up the chimneys by 10 and you were lucky if you didn't get a clip round the ear by lunch time. There was no "Daddy, can I have a McDonalds Happy Meal" back then, either, we had to make do with a Big Mac and be pleased with that.

And how did that do us any harm? (Oi, you, come over here, I'm gonna thump you so hard...)

?

The Daily Moan today pledges to match any donation to ship our kids off to Holland. Let's get the kids out of the country, so we can all enjoy ourselves!