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April 2007
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Jade Pills

FREE HOLE FOR EVERY READER
The Peeper (spoof of The People)
Exclusive: "My Unsuccessful Suicide Attempt", By Jade Goody

Jade Goody considered "suiciding herself" during the Shilpa Shetty race row aftermath, says the Big Brother star, speaking exclusively to The Peeper this Sunday.

"I had collected 30 blue Smarties in a bottle but I was stopped from taking them by my babies."

"30 blue Smarties would have been enough to kill me but I didn't take them. I realized life was worth more than that."

"Luckily my babies ate them up instead, thus preventing me from killing myself."

The Peeper is unable to remember how much money we paid Jade for this exclusive. Sorry.

We have agreed to pay Nestle an undisclosed sum in damages for this report.

23 April

 
 
 

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