Spoitez le difference:

Unhappy Frog Happy Ros Beef

The French, some as young as 2 months old, were crying in the streets last night, some, but not all, completely unawares that their team had just lost to old foe England in the World Cup Semi Finals currently being staged in Paris, last night, and for the previous six weeks and for another week to come.

France, who can now count to the number trois for the times they have lost to Angletere in a Rugby Union World Cup Semi- Final, were disconsolate, some, but not all, unable to bake even those quick tap and unwrap chocolate croissants they do in the chiller cabinet in some shops (or do they call them Pain au Chocolat? the French were all too upset to answer my questions when I asked it last night). Even more couldn't eat them even if they could be baked in the first place.

Baguettes, some as old as thirty-five minutes, were left in bakey-shops across the land and the wailing of nuns, goats and winemakers punctured the silence in some of the quieter parts of the French nation.

A national day of mourning in France has been declared for Monday. All English supporters currently in France are being asked to keep the noise down on Monday to allow France to come to terms with their loss.

The French dream is dead, long live the Jonny.

The England coach was told he could name his own price last night after getting his team to the finals of the Rugby Union World Cup.

Who the hell is this guy:

The price, which could be as high as £35 billion was being rumored about Paris last night.

Ashton, who's contract expires in December presumably because the old farts in the England Rugby Union thought he would be crap at the job as he only got appointed in December last year, could be named manager of the 21st century by 9:45 pm GMT this Saturday.

Were Ashton's team to win the World Cup it is possible that it could be the end to sport in England for the next twenty years.

Five Beefeaters died, none of them were English.