The Daily Moan has discovered who the Royal is at the centre of the blackmail allegations. We are unable to print his, or her, name because of legal injunctions'n'stuff.

Legal injunctions our collective arses. This is a genuine matter of public interest. Since when has gossip not been in the public interest?

Gay sex talk? Bring it on, as long as he, or she, apologise for it afterwards and then don't go on about it again.

Cocaine? What's wrong with a bit of puff from time to time? As long as it's never found out and if it is it is followed by a fulsome apology afterwards.

We at the Daily Moan have our fingers poised on our typewriters ready to type in the name of this Royal as soon as we can. We can't even tell you which key our finger is poised on top of. This is just so unfair!