Complaints from MRS A fell 18% in the last three months of 2007, according to new government figures published this morning.

The Health Secretary applauded his policy of deep cleaning in hospitals for these results.

However, the news was not universally good. On Appendix 78iii of page 756 of the press release, we discover that, during the same period, Mrs B and Mrs C both registered 35% and 42% more complaints respectively. Mrs D and Mrs E both died of 'freak' complications involving handwash containers so were not 'immediately available' for comment.

MRSA and C Diff cases continued to grow exponentially during the same period.