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7th April 2008
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Huq Ruck
Connie Huq gets mugged on streets of London
 

Connietroversy

FREE 'TIBET SLAP' FOR EVERY PROTESTER FROM OUR STRIKING JOURNALISTS OUTSIDE OUR OFFICES TODAY
Daily Stir (Spoof of Daily Star)
What Do We Want? More Money, When Do We Want It? NOW!

The journalists here at the nation's favourite Daily Star continue to strike for more money.

In the meantime, yesterday, in London, some fit young woman was wrestled to the ground when she refused to let go of an Olympic Torch she was carrying at the time. Unfortunately she had all her clothes on and nothing was ripped of during the wrestle.

In other news, journalists at the Daily Star are not being paid enough. Desmond has offered us an under inflation raise which is an insult to us and our families.

Free The Shannon 5!!!

7th April

Huq Shuck

FREE CHINA SYNDROME DVD FOR EVERY READER
Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)
What The Huq Is Going On?

This is just typical - after 10 years of this bloody government, a young woman, out for a peaceful jog in London, gets attacked by Tibet protesters for no fault of her own.

What had she done to deserve this?

Luckily she was only wearing a cheap tracksuit but it could have been a lot worse.

Just imagine what could have happened if she had been out jogging wearing an expensive necklace, for instance, or a handbag filled with mobile phones?

It's time we Londoners take a stand against these idiots out to give a beating to innocent law abiding people.

That the person who made the lunge for our Connie, wasn't a teenage hoodie alcoholic is something to be thankful for. But that is small comfort ...

7th April

 
 
 

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Huq Luck

FREE TIBETAN DUCK PICTURE FOR EVERY READER
Dully Mirror (Spoof of Daily Mirror)
Blue Peter Connie Huq Mugged During Olympic Torch Run

Children across the nation cried today at the shocking sight of their favourite ex Blue Peter presenter Connie Huq mugged in the streets by protesters keen to get their hands on the Olympic Torch.

Soon after the man, 56, made for a grab, ten burly torch guards bundled on him and squashed him a flyin.

Three Karate was used, one person flied.

7th April

Bugger Up For Huq

FREE 'SHIRTLIFTING FOR DUMMIES' BOOK SERIALIZATION STARTS TODAY
The Thun (Spoof of The Times)
Police Contain Tibet Protests, One Ex Blue Peter Presenter Beaten Up

London police heralded yesterday's efforts to protect the Olympic torch as a success after it got to its final destination in one piece.

The torch was held aloft a running person through the streets of London amidst a little carnage, some of which led to the beating up of a Blue Peter presenter, 26.

Ms Huq, who was running with her own legs, suddenly noticed a man coming in from the side to make a grab for the Olympic torch and the dreams of billions.

But, by the time she noticed what was going on, Huq was underneath the biggest bundle she had ever been under possibly since school.

Speaking shortly after the bundle, a police officer, who jumped on top of the Blue Peter presenter, told reporters that he thought that bundling should be allowed as a new Olympic sport just for this year's Olympics.

7th April