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Big
Brother 2008
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FREE
BIG BROTHER COOKIE JAR FOR EVERY READER
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Can't
Think Of Anything New To Write About
Big Brother 2008
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Well,
I had it on, you know, Davina is great,
as usual. Perfect for her, Big Brother
is. Less Dame Edna Everagey too these
days which is great, more cheeky,
laddish and yet more feminine. She's
certainly earning her money is that
one!
And
the contestants, well, what can I
say. They had the good looking guy,
the token black guy, a 43 year old
guy, a screamy girl, a fat girl who
only eats cookies and screams and
the rest.
It's
too soon isn't it? I mean, those that
walk out do that over the first two
weeks. Who will walk? Do you know
I think I would rather have a cup
of tea than answer that, if you don't
mind, and eat a crunchy biscuit. Got
some lovely ginger crunch creams somewhere.
Yum.
I
suppose I'll watch again yes, I mean
I'll have it on, but I mean its just
like before isn't it?
How's
that Craig from series 1? Seems like
10 years ago now, blimey it was.
Zzzzzzt!
I'm
sorry for the interruption in our
coverage of Big Brother we now return
to our normal service:
Big
Brother's on again? Big load of old
bloody tosh more like.
Bloody
attention seeking screaming lard arse
whores who couldn't do a day's work
if it was done for them.
Bloody
hell, how much more of this have we
got to put up with?
I'd
shoot the lot of em if it was up to
me...
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6th
June
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Big
Brother Sex
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FREE
BIG BROTHER SEX VIDEO FOR EVERY READER
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Seven
In A Bed Shame Of Big Brother
Bobby
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Bobby
Billsham, 8 inches, Big Brother
2008 contestant, had seven
in a bed sex while at college
and only remembered it when
the video appeared on Youtube,
according to his girlfriend
at the time.
He
told our reporter: "When
I saw the video I thought,
My God! is that video on five
times normal speed? I looked
like I was going at it hammer
and tongs, no lie. And then
I discovered that the video
had been speeded up five times
normal speed so I thought
well, that's ok then. Phew."
Bobby,
now a speech writer for Gordon
Brown, says the best sex of
his life was with an Albino
stripper from Paris.
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6th
June
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Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
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Big
Brother 9
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FREE
BIG BROTHER BABY BIB FOR EVERY READER
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Davina
McCall, An Apology
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The
Daily Star, soon to be renamed
The Daily Apology, would like
to apologise to Davina McCall
for suggesting that she was
Scottish throughout last nights
show.
We
now accept that we just made
that story up so that we could
sell more papers and that
there was no truth in the
story whatsoever.
Our
quote that she said "Ai
Captain she's gonna blow",
and "You take the high
road and I'll take the low
road", were all figments
of our editor's imagination.
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6th
June
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Big
Brother Returns
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FREE
BIG BROTHER CONDOM FOR EVERY READER
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Big
Brother Is OK So Far
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Channel
Four dished up another pud
of Big Brother last night,
with the usual prospects of
a handsome meal to come, served,
no doubt, with wine and after
dinner mints.
Last
night, the contestants entering
the house were the usual group.
Hand picked, no doubt, from
various black people, big
bosomed lady type people,
a couple of
opinionated good looking guys
who will be evicted half way
through no doubt, an unstable
girl who will walk in the
first week, even an albino
who is English but speaks
like an American.
We
will be watching every second
and will keep you up to date
when anything interesting
happens... To get a text message
when dishy Dale goes to the
toilet text ....
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6th
June
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Big
Wallys
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FREE
BREAST MEASURING TOOL FOR EVERY READER INSIDE
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"I'm
Gonna Stab Someone", Says
Crazy Bitch In Big Brother House
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Jenny
Hartsvig, Big Brother 2008
contestant, has left a video
on her computer at home in
which she says she is going
to stab someone to death if
they annoy her.
Jenny,
a 23 year old advertising
consultant from London, has
previous convictions for assault
and battery and stabbing all-of-a-
sudden.
A
producer for the Channel Four
show told this newspaper:
"You have made that up.
There is no such video."
But
he's wrong and there is and
somebody is going to die.
Disclaimer:
There is no truth whatsoever
to this story which was personally
written by Richard Desmond.
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6th
June
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