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Lost
Cameron
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FREE
PICTURE OF A CELEBRITY INSIDE TODAY
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I
Punished Man On Cameron's Bike,
Says Mistress Of Torture
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David
Cameron's bike was used in
a porn video while it was
out of his possession, we
can now reveal.
The
bike which he
lost for about three days
is the star of a PornTube
video in which Madam A, known
in S&M circles as one
of the most vicious consensual
punishers in England, whipped
a man, sprayed cream on him
and then bit his nipples until
he screamed for mercy.
The
kinky video runs for 5 minutes
in which time naughty words
are said and shouting and
screaming performed.
It
is quite remarkable that Cameron
can still ride the bicycle
after the punishment meted
out on it.
Nobody
of consequence died, yet.
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28
July
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Cameron
Slap
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FREE
RHYME WORD FOR EVERY READER
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"Where's
That Blasted Bicycle Gone?"
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The
Boris Johnsonisation of David
Cameron continued last night
after his bicycle was stolen
outside a London supermarket.
A
bystander standing by at the
scene told our reporter that
the Conservative Party leader
said 'damn' and 'blast' but
nothing stronger.
He
then did an impression of
Boris Johnson running around
in circles saying things like
'I'm sure I put it here',
'oh deary me', and 'where
has it gone by golly'.
It
is not known if David Cameron
walked home with his shopping
or if he hailed a taxi.
If
David Cameron called a cab
then all his good environmental
saving work through cycling
to work for the last three
years would have been destroyed
in one cab ride.
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28
July
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Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
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David
Duffed Up
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FREE
PICTURE OF A HARD HAT FOR EVERY READER
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Where
Were Cameron's Secret Service
When His Bike Went Missing?
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Questions
were being raised in Conservative
Central Office as to the whereabouts
of David Cameron's secret
service contingent on the
day when his bike got stolen.
The
bike, 2 years old, was stolen
when the Conservative Party
leader went in to a supermarket,
we believe.
But
in the time it took a leery
bike thief to steal the bike,
a terrorist could easily have
replaced his pump with a bomb,
or replace his normal seat
with one that has an exploding
spike hidden in it that could
have killed him by stabbing
him in the bottom.
A
spokesman for security told
this website:
"David
Cameron was lucky to get away
with just losing his bike,
it could have been a whole
lot worse."
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28
July
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Bad
Luck Dave
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FREE
PICTURE OF AN MP FOR EVERY READER INSIDE TODAY
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What
Did Cameron Do After His Bicycle Was
Lost?
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Did
David Cameron hail a taxi after his
bike was stolen?
Nobody
tells us nothing, but if he did what
a horribly anti environment thing
to do.
Walking
home was the only environmentally
safe thing to do after his bicycle
was stolen but if he hailed a taxi
then it wasn't.
David
Cameron makes a great deal of political
capital out of using his bike, but
is this just a charade and as soon
as he lost it his true colours came
through?
Opinion
In
our day a stolen bicycle would have
been front page news. Where oh where
oh where has this world gone wrong?
I blame the government. Bring back
the lynch.
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28
July
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