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BBC
Bitching
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FREE
STRICTLY COME SERGEANT DVD FOR EVERY READER
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John
Sergeant Winning In I'm A Celeb!
Shock
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Unofficial
figures seen by this webpaper
show that BBC political commentator
and now one of the most popular
dancers in the country, John
Sergeant, is ahead in I'm
A Celebrity Get Your Tits
Out In Here, the SHITV
ratings block buster. Phwor!
 Mr
Sergeant, 65, is not even
officially in the show, and
he doesn't have a number for
the viewers to ring, but still
he is ahead in the polls to
the apparent shock of the
producers. Ofcom have investigated
and have found nothing wrong
with the telephone voting
system.
John
Sergeant could be the first
person to win Celebrity
Get Me Out Of Here and
never even appear once in
the jungle at all.
A
spokesman for the BBC said
they were 'flummoxed' to explain
his success in a game show
in which he was not taking
part.
Seven
guv'nors of the BBC slept,
three snored.
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18
Nov
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Click
here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
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BBC
Dancing Pigs
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FREE
HOW TO DANCE LIKE JOHN SERGEANT ABC GUIDE INSIDE
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SHITV
Must Cut Down The 'Celebrity Get Me
Out Of Here' Nudity At Once!
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It's
a bleedin disgrace! Ten celebrities,
all of them completely nude, on the
telly last night! This is a new low
for the taste crunching disaster that
is SHITV, and we want our money back.
And
then, just as we were averting our
eyes, everyone's favourite cheeky
chappies Ant and Dec (why does anyone
still phone these gits?) pranced into
camera completely naked as well, talking
about naming their willies and eating
peni. It's a complete disgrace.
We
don't pay our license fee to watch
this tripe on our televisions! Get
it off at once, and put something
disgraceful from the BBC on in its
place. At least on the BBC we don't
have to sit through those ruddy adverts.
Gawden Bennet.
We
say: The sight of 72 year olds naked
is too much, even if they were once
on Star Trek.
Or
that woman from That's Life!
Or
even that old grey haired woman from
Kilroy.
Damn
and blast it to hell and then some!!!
We
say no more botty tits either: Brian
Paddick in the shower completely bottomless
was a particular disgrace!
For all the bad things we have written
about John Sergeant over the past
four weeks, at least you wouldn't
catch him stripping off and dancing
in the nude on Strictly Come Dancing.
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18
Nov
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Rubber
Limbed John
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TRINITY
MIRROR SHARE PRICE TO BE MADE INTO A MUSICAL,
FREE CD INSIDE TODAY
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John
Sergeant To Be Surprise Guest
On 'I'm Strictly Come Dancing
Get Me Out Of Here', This
Saturday
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Controversial
dancer, John Sergeant, could
be about to make a surprise
appearance on I'm A Celebrity,
according to one of the judges
on Strictly Come Prancing.
Ser-gent,
66, who has been mock-ed for
danc-ing like a political
commentator at a Tory Party
convention, is being encouraged
to add singing and playing
a musical instrument to his
act this Saturday.
Seven
people died, none of them
could dance.
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18
Nov
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Salute
To Sergeant
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FREE
CELEBRITY COCK SHAPED PEN FOR EVERY READER
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Ant
And Dec For Prime Minister
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Ant
and Dec, still telly's favourite
cheeky chappies after 50 years
at the top, should stand for
Prime Minister, that's according
to us.
The
smiley gruesome twosome would
be a much better bet to guide
the nation through these economic
tsunami times than the drab
Brown and Darling, or the
gormless caught in the
headlights Cameron and
Osborne.
Ant
and Dec would even be a match
for the laugh a minute media
lovies Clegg and Cable, or
at least Cable and Cable -
when did you last see Clegg
on the telly?
In
related news: Vince Cable
is to be crowned 'Master
Caster Of Economic Disaster'
at this years tabloid financial
headlines awards.
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18
Nov
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