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Interest rates slashed by 1.5% To 3% - 6th November 2008
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Rate Slash

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The Thun (Spoof of The Times)
Interest Rates Bazooka'd By 1.5%

The Bank of England reduced interest rates by 1.5% to 3% today.

SLASH!

The last time interest rates fell by 1.5% was in 1981 and that was a full 27 years ago.

BASH!

A 1.5% reduction in interest rates that were 4.5%, is actually a 30% reduction in interest rates and it isn't 1.5% at all.

BIFF!

Homeowners with mortgages could save £138 a month on a £150,000 mortgage if the whole reduction is passed on.

BANG!

The stock market didn't do much when it heard of the massive collapse in interest rates. What are they waiting for?

WALLOP!

If this doesn't work the Bank of England can only reduce interest rates 1.5% by another two times before interest rates get to zero.

Next time a 1.5% reduction in interest rates from 3% is actually 50%, a record.
6 Nov

3% Heaven

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Daily Stir (Spoof of Daily Star)
Banks Must Reduce Rates To Negative Amounts Immediately

If The Bank Of England can reduce rates to 3% from 4.5%, what is stopping them being reduced to -1%?

Our financial expert editor explains:

If the banks reduced interest rates to negative amounts this means that banks actually pay people to borrow from them.

This must happen immediately to stop homeowners, who borrowed too much, to stay afloat.

The sooner banks reduce rates to negative amounts the better.

But it must be done immediately.

What is the Bank of England waiting for?

Negative interest rates now, or the whole economy will die and it's all their fault.
6 Nov

 
 
 

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Rate Debate

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Daily Moan (Spoof of Daily Mail)
It's About Bleedin Time The Bank Of England Slashed Interest Rates By 1.5%, Gawd Blimey!

Bloody hell.

1.5%.

?.

Even though 1.5% is historically a large interest rate reduction, it comes far too late already.

They should have done this 20 years ago, like we told them to but did they listen?

We at the Daily Moan have been telling everyone that the Bank of England is wrong for the last 250 years, and today is no difference. In fact they are wronger today than ever before.

Why? They just are that's all.

On the face of it a 1.5% reduction in rates is a useful step forward.

In effect the 1.5% reduction is as much use as a kick up the arse is to a man in a wheel chair.
6 Nov

Rates Bashed

TRINITY MIRROR CLOSING DOWN SALE, EVERYTHING HALF PRICE
Dully Mirror (Spoof of Daily Mirror)
Bank Of England Comes To Rescue Of Home Owners

The entire Bank Of England got on a horse and came to the rescue of homeowners today.

Mervin King, wearing a Stetson and on a big bad boy stallion, trotted into the city and drew his gun saying "Drop your rates or I fire!"

But he didn't have to fire: interest rates fell anyway much to the relief of industry, hairdressers and little old ladies with grey hair.

This is the first time that the Bank of England Governor, Mervyn King, has resorted to the desperate techniques first tried in the American wild west in the 1840s.

Nobody was shot to death, but it's only a matter of time.
6 Nov