Kiki,
a five year old basset hound
mashed her little paw in a
fruit juicer just five days
before Christmas last year.
Said
her owner, Mary Fargus, from
Luton, "Crazy Kiki must
have tried with all of her
might to stretch her little
paw down the juicer towards
the mashing blades, and with
her free paw she managed to
switch the juicer on."
"I
found quite a mess: little
lumps of paw, fur and blood
everywhere! Thank heavens
Kiki had the good sense to
take her little paw out of
the razor-sharp juicing blades
before too much damage was
done."
"Luckily
there was only surface damage
and I was able to squash her
little paw back into shape
with my own fingers and a
spatula, a couple of days
all bandaged up and she was
as right as rain."
"The
only long term damage is that
she craps herself when she
hears someone making a smoothie."
19
Dec
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here
to go theVoiceofReason .co.uk home page
A
dog, believed to have once been owned
by master of terror and hiding, Osama
bin Laden, is to appear in panto at
Oldham, we can now report.
Jiji,
a little yappy type dog, has a curious
sense of humour and laughs like an
ickle hyena when causing mischief.
This
is just bloody typical.
Haven't we got enough yappy type dogs
in this bleedin country? Why bring
one over from the Middle East to steal
all of our bones and doggie chocs?
Jiji
will play Button's naughty dog from
29th December, through to 15th January.
Audiences
in the front three rows will be asked
to sign a disclaimer that they agree
to being wee'd on during the performance.
19
Dec
Merriest
Christmas
FREE
SUPER DOOPER DOGGIE CHEW FOR EVERY READER
Nervous
Dog Gets 50,000 Volt Shock
A
little doggie, wearing nothing
but some comedy Christmas
reindeer antlers, came within
an inch of being frazzled
today when his antlers touched
an electricity pylon.
50,000
volts went straight through
the little doggie, his ears
sprang out, his eyes bulged
and his tongue flopped out.
Luckily
a passer by had just been
on a course on how to give
doggie mouth to mouth resuscitation
and his life was saved.
Said
his owner, "This Christmas
we're not taking any chances,
it is truly a God given time
of peace and goodwill."
Kiki,
a five year old basset hound
mashed her little paw in a
fruit juicer just five days
before Christmas last year.
A
dog, believed to have once been owned
by master of terror and hiding, Osama
bin Laden, is to appear in panto at
Oldham, we can now report.
A
little doggie, wearing nothing
but some comedy Christmas
reindeer antlers, came within
an inch of being frazzled
today when his antlers touched
an electricity pylon.