Blonde Joke Cavalcade... (PG)
A Blonde goes into a garage...
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten.
We all looked at each other, and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"
She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I lost it and need a new one. It had always been there."
The mechanic gave the blonde a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had the hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right there.":
In a vacuum
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Becky and Sally Ann were two blondes doing carpentry work on a house.
Becky, who was nailing down siding would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Sally Ann, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
Becky explained, "When I pull a nail out of my pouch, half of them have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away."
Sally Ann sighed and shook her head, "Becky, those nails aren't defective! They're for the other side of the house!"
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.
"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realising that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"